Mommy's Always Write

Returning to an old WIP

2012-02-06T13:19:00.000-08:00

I've got this craziness (I know, ANOTHER one!) where I work best in spurts.

For instance, a few years back I became interested in genealogy. And when I say interested, I mean obsessed. I spent every free moment on this endeavor. I immersed myself for a couple of months and then quit completely. I've never touched it since.

And that's how most of my endeavors end up. So if I want to finish a book, I do best to get it all out on paper while the coals are hot. Returning to something once my passion is gone is super difficult. That being said, sometimes I DO put a work in progress aside and have to return to it later.

Have you ever returned to a half-written book?

How did you get the creative juices flowing again. Did you re-read and then re-outline the second half? Did you just dive right in?

What was I thinking?

2012-01-31T21:09:00.000-08:00

More and more posts seem to be having this same title. Hmmmm.

Anywho, on with the post...

I think the Daddy/Daughter relationship is very, very, very important. But sometimes I tend to go overboard.

I have lots of preconceived notions about what dads and daughters with good relationships are like. And low and behold, I recently got a thing in the mail that seemed to fit those preconceived notions PERFECTLY! The local Girl Scouts were hosting a Daddy-Daughter Dance and my little heartstrings got to stirring. "Wouldn't that be soooo special?" "Wouldn't that be what CLOSE daddies and daughters do?"

So I nonchalantly brought the pretty purple paper to my husband's attention. And without trying to show the anxiousness in my voice I said, "Is this something you would be interested in?"

He glanced at it and said, "Sure."

I did a double take. I have the best husband in the world, but he isn't known for his love of dancing. In fact Dan never attended a single high school dance, and he danced the minimum required dances at our wedding (but to his credit, that might be because his mind was on the hotel room--if you know what I mean).

His agreeing to this was a big deal to me.

So as the days got closer, I could barely restrain myself from telling the girls. However, my eight years of Mommyhood have schooled me in avoiding the "How many days until Christmas" syndrome, so I knew to keep my mouth shut until the dance was close. Very, very close.

Finally I broke the news and the three little ladies were super excited. They began talking about dresses and hairdos. And when Dan came home from work that night, our four-year-old met him at the door. "Daddy could you put on your church clothes and come downstairs so we can practice our dance moves?"

The big night arrived and the girls were all ready. I was excited to spend a night grocery shopping with our little son who is still too young to beg to peruse the Barbie Aisle or to push the cart. The girls and Dan headed off in the White Horse of a Suburban. Dan told me later that half way down the hill they started fighting over who would get to dance with him first. The six-year-old quietly told the four-year-old "You probably don't want to go first because I don't think Dad knows any moves."

(Looking back, I'm thinking they may have thought the entire night was supposed to be choreographed.)

I headed out Walmart and had scarcely reached the parking lot when I got the first text: "They are so shy and sad. Lily is crying."

What??!! But they were excited!

Several more texts offered the same bleak outlook of three girls glued to their daddy's legs with tears streaming down their faces--and not in a sweet dance move way.

You see... Our three daughters picked my gender (being a girl) and every other trait they inherited came from Daddy. The biggest one is their shyness. Despite having dance moves planned, dresses donned, and hairdos that took several hours, when they hit the door to that gymnasium, they lost their nerve.

And it hit me. I should have known this. I should have seen it coming. But my preconceived notions of what they SHOULD be like totally outweighed my knowledge of who they really are. My husband and daughters are quiet around new situations and new people. They don't like attention in a crowd. They would rather be sideliners. At home or with family and friends they are completely different. But new situations are tough.

But you know what? Dan and the girls have a pretty great relationship despite this.

Dan has never missed their performances at school/church/sports. He is a good example to them. He loves to joke around and tease with them.

All three of the girls have gone on a one-on-one parent date EVERY SINGLE MONTH since they turned two years old. And 95 percent of the time, they pick Dad. They have gone boating. They have camped out in the back yard. They have built dog houses. They have made cakes. They have gone mini golfing. And doughnut eating. And they love nothing more than to curl up on the couch and watch a movie and eat candy with their dad. Now doesn't that sound about as perfect as it can get?

Well, needless to say, the four of them stuck out the dance for about an hour. And now that I think about it, I think that is just great!

When have your preconceived notions been proven wrong? Any tips on encouraging Daddy-Daughter relationships without going overboard?

Did the Kindle light your fire?

2012-01-23T06:09:00.000-08:00

I know several of you got the new Kindle for Christmas. Me too. Me too.

I love it. It's so schnazzy and I feel all smart now. No, really, I do. (Except for when I'm yelling all the time "Aah, I didn't mean to hit that button!" No, I've never had a smart phone.)

But anywho, do you love it?

I've found I love reading magazines on it. Checking email. Playing games. Letting the kids watch movies. And browsing through the Amazon store. But as far as actually reading books, I'm still on the fence.

I think I might prefer the paper version.

It's just that even with the screen turned all the way down it kind of hurts my eyes at night. And the little percentage thing that tells you how far you are in a book just doesn't do it for me. I like to SEE my book with a bookmark in it and know I'm half way. I am ALWAYS accidentally highlighting things or turning the page when I don't mean to. Also, ebooks (at least the popular ones) don't seem to be a whole lot cheaper than regular books. I am enjoying lots of the classics for free though.

What's your thoughts? Did you love the e-reader as much as you thought you would?

The Red Solo Cup

2012-01-15T12:54:00.000-08:00

Photo from CMT

Wow, I rarely hate a song.

That's not true.

I often hate a song... But this one I really dislike.

Toby Keith's Red Solo Cup.

Have you heard it?

It's just about those little red Solo cups you buy at Walmart for barbecues and Christmas parties and high school keggers. But that's where the annoying part comes in: the song (and video) remind me of keggers and teenagers getting drunk and stuff like that. Which would be just fine were the song coming from someone of Justin Beiber's or Taylor Swift's age range.

But Toby's? Really?

Let me ask my loyal readers this. Do you remember your last few years of high school? There you were in your ___________________ (insert 1990s fashion here). You were hanging out at a party (insert judgmental comment here: "I never went to a party and I can't believe Maggie did either. Where's the "Unfollow" button!)
And some guy pulls up in his black Trans Am with an eagle painted on the hood and everyone was like

"Who is that guy?! I swear he's like 22 or something. Ewww!"

Well, when I hear Toby Keith singing Red Solo Cup all I can think of is that gross old guy at the high school party. Here are my version of the lyrics:

Red solo cup. I fill you up.
Let's have a party.
Because I am 50.
(and I Googled it--he really is 50)

Oh ya Red solo cup.

I'm not saying older folks shouldn't party. Heck we use our share of red Solo cups all the time (for seltzer water--haha just kidding. We drink a mean cup of Sprite over here!). I just get the creepy high school kegger vibe from this song, and for that, Toby is just too old.

I mean the video has girls in Daisy Dukes and bikini tops in it. I dare say those aren't his peers.

That and, any song that uses the word testicle in a rhyme just doesn't get my vote.

Heard any lame music lyrics lately? Or, have any awesome red solo cup memories of your own?

A ghetto-fantastic childhood

2012-01-12T12:41:00.000-08:00

I had a friend in high school who lived right across the street. The first time I ever met him, it was late at night and I saw a kid hanging out his bedroom window smoking. We met awhile later and became the best of friends (--and don't worry, his smoking didn't rub off on me. In fact, I don't think it rubbed off on him much either).

Anyway, his family and my family were friends throughout all my teen years in Wyoming. We watched their house burn down while they were on vacation and had to call and tell them about it.

My friend must be visiting Cody because a few days ago on Facebook he posted a picture of the house I grew up in.

And here it is in all its glory:

My Facebook response went like this:
"Oh my gosh. Was it always that ghetto?"

It made me think about how our perception changes as we grow and start to see things through adult eyes.

I remember having friends who had really big and neat houses, but I don't remember ever being embarrassed of my own. I remember that our house cost my parents $45,000 to buy and it sat on an acre of land. I remember someone telling me their parents bought a house for $100,000 and I imagined it must be a mansion with marble columns on either side of the grand staircase.

I remember that the 8x8 laundry room in our house also served as a bedroom (for two people). It had no closet or dressers (I am just now wondering for the first time where all the clothes were). And we had an awesome game of using the string that hung from the lightbulb to swing from the top bunk to the top of the dryer.
I remember that the house was ALWAYS freezing. I remember my sister and I almost burning down the house once by starting a fire in the wood stove and leaving a full box of matches on top of the stove.
I remember the paint peeling on the front fence (which isn't there any more), and I remember EVERYONE drove into the little ditch when they pulled into our driveway. I remember the house was gray until my colorblind dad painted it the current color--PINK, if you ask me--but tan to him.

I remember my dad building the big metal shop in the back by hand and watching him walk across the super high trusses carrying two by fours. I remember the big addition he put on the back of the house over a span of eight years so that they could do it without debt.
I remember the summer my parents moved to Washington and I stayed in the house by myself at the age of 17. Man did I think I knew everything.

Did I think my life was ghetto back then?
Of course not.
Was it though?
I'm not sure.

Today I live on a nice Suburbia-ish street where each home is well maintained and under ten years old. We have sidewalks and vinyl siding and vaulted ceilings, and I still look at those nicer houses--the ones my friends live in or that I visit from time to time--and I feel envy. I feel like I don't have anything.
But I have so much.

Whether I came from Ghettoville or it's just turned to Ghettoville since we've been gone, who knows. Either way, I know I had a great childhood in that house. My parents worked really hard and sacrificed for us all the time. I have so many fond memories of growing up on that street, and I hope that's what happens to my kids too.

I hope they don't notice that the Suburban is getting close to its last leg. I hope they forgive me that sometimes their gifts are second hand, and that almost all of their clothes are hand-me-downs. I hope they are patient as we go through these lean college years and then the starting-a-new-career-at-close-to-40 years.

I may have been ghetto, who knows. We seem to have turned out all right.

Do you think your view of your childhood has changed now that you're an adult?

What's that book you're hiding under?

2012-01-05T21:07:00.000-08:00

Photo from Seattle Library site

I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you're going to write, you better read.

****In fact, my best writing procrastination tool is reading****

But anywho...

My favorite read of 2011 was the massive; the enormous; the 1000-paged:
The Pillars of the Earth
(Although the further I got into this book, the more rated R it seemed. Just warning ya... As much as I wanted to, I WILL NOT be watching the movie.)

Followed closely by:
The Help
Variant
The Guernsey Literary and Sweet Potato Peel Pie Society

Oh yeah, and
The End of Normal (it had the train wreck thing going on where I just couldn't look away).

The writing book I liked best was:
Writing the Breakout Novel

The two books EVERYONE else loved that just didn't do it for me:
Cutting For Stone (seriously, if I still hate it after I'm 300 pages in, I just can't go on)
AND
Matched
******sorry, I really wanted to love it, and I am uber jealous and impressed with Ally Condie and her amazing success, but I just felt like everything was just a little too DESCRIBED. Does that make sense? Like, the main character might just describe the smell, sight and feel of the toilet paper because she was so in tune with every tiny detail*******

A few of the books I was bummed I had to put aside for naughtiness factor:
A Reliable Wife
Water for Elephants

And the book I still haven't gotten my hands on that I really want to read?
Divergent

So, there you have it.

What did you love in 2011? What did you hate? What did EVERYONE else love that you just didn't get that into?

Looking back at your progress

2011-12-30T13:21:00.001-08:00

Well, the year is almost up. Soon we will be ushering in 2012 with a new set of goals and aspirations.

So. How did you do?

Did you fly past your resolutions making this year one to go down in the history books? Did you land the dream agent? Did you finish the book? Did you sign a book contract?

Or, on the flip side, had you already given up/forgotten your goals before the Superbowl rolled around?

I think I fall somewhere in between. When I look at my goals for 2011, I admit, I'm bummed by what I DIDN'T do.

-I didn't land an agent.
-I didn't reach and STAY at my hot-Mama weight.
-I didn't write Danielle Never The Bride.
-I didn't land any new contracts.
-I don't have any more long term savings.
-I didn't attend a writer's conference.

But you know what? I think if I look at what I DID do this year, I would feel much better.

-I learned a lot about marketing and selling.
-I learned a lot about querying.
-I hit my hot-Mama weight, but then slipped back, and now I'm at a healthy weight that's somewhere in between.
-My blog grew in leaps and bounds.
-I co-authored a non-fiction book.
-I wrote 40,000 words on a new romance novel.
-I read 32 books.
-I learned to wakeboard (after three summers of trying).
-Our family successfully got through the first year of husband going back to school.
-I made some new friends and kept close with old ones.

Sometimes I think in the press to be so goal-oriented I forget that the steps along the way are accomplishments in themselves. It's not just the over-all prize that is important.

For instance. My eight-year-old daughter set out to read 250 chapter books in 2011. 250!!! However, she's not going to reach her goal. Instead she is going to finish the year at 240 books. There is no way she can look at that and not realize what an awesome accomplishment that is. She read 240 books in a single year when she was eight years old--and we're talking real chapter books like Secret Garden, Babysitters Club and Nancy Drew. That she missed her mark by a mere 10 books seems to be a moot point if you ask me.

So my question as you finish out 2011 is this:

What DID you accomplish this year? What are you proud of?

Ahhh Shoot.

2011-12-18T20:35:00.000-08:00

My sweet baby boy has a new phrase that cracks me up:

Ahhh shoot.

The first time I heard it he had spilled a cup of Goldfish down the stairs.

Ahhh shoot.

But now it's been adopted for lots of things.

Drop a toy?

Ahhh shoot.

Trip on the coffee table?

Ahhh shoot.

When I ask him, "Did you go poop?"

Ahhh shoot.

You get the picture. And now I have a little Ahhh shoot myself.

Am I going to the 2012 Storymakers Conference?

Ahhh shoot.

I know, I know. I PROMISED this was the year. I put it in my goals. I put it in my budget. I put it in the pre-planned-2012-babysitters-calendar. (Just kidding I'm not even close to that organized). But alas...

Ahhh shoot.

It's a no-go for me. And you want to know why? Of course you do!

Because my best friend moved to Denver in September and I was faced with this: go visit her for a weekend or go to a writing conference for a weekend. Both trips aren't in the budget for us college-student-salary-type folk (plus there is a big secret trip for the whole fam planned in the Spring that really eats up the budget). In the end it was a tough decision, but not that tough.

Go ahead, shake your head in disgust. Say I'm not taking my craft seriously. Say I'm not dedicated enough. Say what you want, I suppose.

I'm taking LIFE very seriously, which is exactly why I had to pick my Shalie.

Here is a picture of us in Boulder this weekend. It was so, much, fun.

AND HERE IS TO HOPING I SEE YOU AT THE 2013 CONFERENCE!!!

Have you ever made choices between family/friends and writing? Do you feel good about the choices you've made?

Aaahhhh!

2011-12-13T12:55:00.000-08:00

I've got a serious case of Holy Crap There's So Much To Get Done disease right now. Unfortunately, blogging didn't make the Top 10 (not to say my blogging life isn't important to me, because it REALLY IS, I just have to prioritize a bit this week). So, have a great week and I'll check in next week!

HELP A GIRL OUT!

2011-12-07T20:25:00.000-08:00

Okay, you know that cool thing you all do where you reply to your follower's comments via email?

Teach me to do that.

I tried by just clicking on their name and their email address, but it doesn't pop up with the comment there so they know what the heck I am replying to.

HELP!

In the meantime (from my previous comments below):

Maggie @ Jolene--I hope you can relax next year. You totally deserve that!
Maggie @ Bonnie--We can encourage each other to be patient.
Maggie @ Jessie--Um, no, I can totally tell you're NOT fat. And I meant my kids (who are sisters) need to stop bickering; but I hope you and your sis can make Santa's list too! :)
Maggie @ Emily--Next baby? Isn't there one brewing right now? You are one serious planner, girl! I love it.
Maggie @ Rebecca--Oh, to be content. I need a lesson in this too.
Maggie @ Erin--gee thanks!
Maggie @ Jessica--my hub's get-through-college job requires lots of plunger-ing. Maybe I need to have him give your son a lesson?
Maggie @ Chantelle--One of these days I know I'm going to click on your blog and see that YAY! I have a book contract post. I can't wait!

Your grown up Christmas Wish

2011-12-07T09:30:00.000-08:00

This pic has nothing to do with the post, it just shows a cute view of two of our girls on top of our Jeep. Last year it was super snowy, but right now we are totally dry.

Have you heard that one Christmas song?

"No more lives torn apart,
The wars would never start,
blah, blah, blah

Everyone would have a friend,
Right would always win
Something, something, something

This is my grown up Christmas wish."

(I've never claimed to be good at remembering lyrics.)

Anyway, that got me thinking. What's on my grown-up Christmas list?

1. Landing a dream agent.
2. A be-a-better-housekeeper magic wand
3. The economy to get back in shape for all of us who have felt it for the past three or four years
4. Mr. Mommy's Always Write to get done with college quickly
5. Sisters to not bicker
6. Me to be patient (without having to endure more trials to teach me patience)

What about you, what would be on your grown up Christmas list?

What was I thinking?

2011-12-05T06:36:00.000-08:00

I've been dragged kicking and screaming back into my manuscript (after a few month break of laziness and querying other projects), but after my break, I needed a re-read it to get reacquainted with the plot and characters. I sat down this morning and got through about half of my 40,000 words.

I was reminded how hard this step can be.

When I first took Growing Up Gracie out of my drawer and started reading the rough draft, I was horrified at myself. When I was in the middle of the writing phase, I thought I was brilliant, but upon the re-reading, I realized I had a LONG, LONG way to go. It took several rounds of revisions and editing on each of the three books I've completed before I loved them.

On the flip side, I recently read a writing book that said the exact opposite. The author said after his "let it simmer" phase, when he begins reading his rough draft again he is instantly taken in and loves his work.

Oh boy I wish that were me.

How do you feel on the first read through? Do you get that excitement back? Or do you think "what was I thinking?"

What's the low down?

2011-11-29T18:40:00.000-08:00

WELL, Thursday is December 1. And you know what that means, right?

A. You can finally re-cinch your belt from your Thanksgiving feast.
B. You should really start Christmas shopping.

OR

C. You can now register for the LDS Storymakers Conference for 2012?

Why C. Of course!

If you don't know anything about the conference that draws about 500 attendees each year, here's the link. http://ldstorymakers.com/conferences/schedule/

If you do, let's talk about your plans.

*Will you be staying at the Marriott or do you live near SLC?
*Will you be attending Boot Camp?
*Will you be doing a pitch session? (The idea of this nearly breaks me out in hives. I will definitely NOT be brave enough for this).
*Will you be staying for the Whitney gala?

You get the picture. Let's talk shop here. What are your plans for the conference?

Your thoughts on Happiness

2011-11-26T13:27:00.000-08:00

I just finished Gretchin Rubin's The Happiness Project. This book is about one woman's attempt to spend a year becoming happy. She didn't face depression, have a recent loss or anything like that. Rather, Rubin already had the great husband, the nice house, the kids, and the job she always wanted but one day she realized even with all of those things, she wasn't as happy as she should be.

Have you ever felt that way?

The book covers the resolutions she worked toward over the year. Each month she tackled new things she wanted to be better at (such as enjoying new hobbies, being mindful of her eating habits, not nagging her husband, laughing more etc.). She kept a monster chart to track her progress.

I thought the Happiness Project was a good book and a great idea, but severely overwhelming. This woman comes across as SUPER WOMAN with all the things she did. (For instance, after tackling all the clutter in her own New York apartment, she does the same in several of her friends' homes). Instead of encouraging me to do my own Happiness Project, I was deflated with thoughts of "I could never do all that she did."

BUT.... There were many wonderful tidbits I gleaned from this book.

1. One of Rubin's Personal Twelve Commandments was "Be Gretchen." She talked about how she'd always been embarrassed that her favorite books were children's books. This didn't seem sophisticated enough compared to the heavy reading her peers enjoyed. But when she reminded herself to Be Gretchen and embraced her passion, she was happy. In fact she started a Children's Literature group that was very successful.
Over the past several weeks there have been times I've reminded myself to Be Maggie. For instance, we've often put on a big Christmas party, but when I asked myself if doing this really made me happy, I realized that it doesn't. In fact, it makes me stressed because of the cleaning and expense of putting it together. I decided to just Be Maggie this year and let the party go. I think this was Rubin's hope, that the reader doesn't think they need to tackle everything she did, but rather what works for them.

2. The Rubin family does a Polite Night often where they all dress up and have a fancier dinner (at home) and work on good manners with their kids. I think this sounds like an awesome new tradition.

3. Rubin quotes a prayer that includes the words "shield your joyous ones." She talks about how there are certain people we know who tend to have positive attitudes and be uplifting. And we tend to take advantage of these people by needing them to buoy us up and at the same time wishing they weren't always so positive. Rubin reminded me that I need to "shield my own joyous ones." For me this is my mom. I vent to her ALL THE TIME because she is encouraging and uplifting and kind and sweet. I am very negative to her because it seems like I just let everything I've held in pour out to her. I need to work on buoying her up and being more positive to her.

4. My favorite parts of the books were two of Rubin's thoughts on happiness.
~That happiness comes from increasing our feeling good, decreasing our feeling bad, feeling right, and having an atmosphere of growth. You have to read the book to really understand this statement, but I agree with her.
~I also loved her statement that The days are long, but the years are short. If you have young children, you KNOW this is true. The monotony and hardship of every day seem to go on forever, but when you look back, the time has passed so fast.

As part of the Be Maggie idea, I have really pondered what makes me happy. More specifically, what really makes me happy--not the cliche answers, and not what makes someone else happy, but me. Here are some I've come up with:

1. Holding a finished book I've written in my hands.
2. Laying with my kids in their beds at night.
3. How I feel AFTER I've ran.
4. The inside jokes Dan and I have that would only be funny to us.
5. Hottubbing with my girlfriends.
6. Letting my mom make me a cup of hot chocolate or a sandwich.
7. Watching my children succeed at a goal.
8. Watching Dan improving at wakeboarding.
9. Sitting in a bookstore all alone.
10. Sleeping on my stomach.
11. Closing my eyes and listening to music really loud.
12. Watching fireworks.
13. Surprising my kids.

*I think my happiest single moment of 2011 was one night before our friends moved away all of us adults who are best friends (9 of us) put the kids to bed and laid outside on the trampoline laughing and talking.*

This book taught me happy can be simple. We just have to recognize it.

Have you read this book yet? If so what did you think? If not, what are some of your thoughts on being happy? A "happiest moment"? What really makes you happy?

Jingle Bells--rejection style

2011-11-21T12:27:00.000-08:00

**MUST BE READ WITH A JINGLE BELL TUNE IN YOUR HEARTS :)

Oh jingle bells, jingle bells
jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh....

I hit the snooze again,
Sleep calls a little more.
But then I clamber out;
Author's got no time to snore.
I wipe my yucky eyes.
Hunker down at my chair
And oh what fun do I find?
Three rejections await me there.

Oh rejection time, rejection time
Those agents must hate me.
Rejection time, rejection time
Maybe I'll query another three.

I open up the first,
The words I'd heard before.
This novel isn't right for us,
But please, oh please try more.
Number two is the same.
"You're really not our fit.
But don't give up, you're really great,"
It seems so filled with it.

Oh rejection time, rejection time
Those agents must hate me.
Rejection time, rejection time
Maybe I'll query another three.

The third one is a form,
They just filled in my name.
They really think my book could work,
But not for them the same.
I close my sleepy eyes,
Bury my head in my hands.
Why oh why am I doing this?
Maybe I should start a band.

Oh rejection time, rejection time
Those agents must hate me.
Rejection time, rejection time
Maybe I'll query another three.

I put the rejections on the stack.
It's really getting high.
Thirty something no thank-yous,
I often wonder why?
I think of all the pros,
Who faced rejection too.
I imagine eating lunch with them
And laughing at those who are new.

Oh rejection time, rejection time
Those agents must hate me.
Rejection time, rejection time
Maybe I'll query another three.

So I straighten in my chair.
Query Tracker I look up.
I research another 53,
and hope we can hook up. (in the metaphoric/rhyming sense, that is)
Ms. Smith looks so cool.
Mr. Jones seems so neat.
I hope they will love my book
And then they can compete.

Oh rejection time, rejection time
Those agents must hate me.
Rejection time, rejection time
Maybe I'll query another three.

But Jones and Smith say "yuck".
I swear this is high school.
They can only pick the best.
I just wanted to be cool.
I try and try again,
And I hold out for that day,
When Mr. Perfect (agent that is)
Rings the door and says.

No more rejection time, rejection time
That agent sure loves me.
No more rejection time, rejection time
I won't query another three!

My TBR pile

2011-11-16T07:02:00.000-08:00

I am currently reading Deep West which is a literary collection by Wyoming authors like Annie Proulx.

Here is what I put on hold at the library recently:

*Divergent by Veronica Roth

*Variant by Robison Wells

*Glass Castle by Jeanette Wells

*Matched by Ally Condie

*The End Of Normal by Stephanie Madoff Mack

*The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

Reading is so important to me. I truly believe the wisdom that a writer MUST read. In fact I met an author recently who said she hadn't read a book in ten years. I was shocked!

What book are you waiting to get your hands on? Have you already read all of the ones I listed?

Five reasons Friday's book signing was awesome

2011-11-14T09:54:00.000-08:00

1. When I got out of my car at the bookstore I heard a very young-girl-meets-rockstar shriek. And it was directed at me! One of the bookstore owner's daughters is one of Growing Up Gracie's hugest fans and she was really excited to meet me.

2.Wow, signing with another author is about a jillion times better than signing alone! I had so much fun with Cedar Fort author Wendy Paul. She is the lady behind the 101 Gourmet Cupcakes; 101 Cookies; and 101 Cake Bites cookbooks. Her books have been super successful and she's a rockstar when it comes to publicity!
For instance I attended a Relief Society function she hosted on Saturday and there were 70 ladies there! Talk about getting the word out.

3. I sold a lot more books than I had anticipated.
4. A couple old friends I hadn't seen in a long time stopped by.
5. Duh, a few hours of being Maggie instead of being somebody's Mom/slave can be really exciting!

I also had to post this and give my friend Jolene Perry a little shout out. She lives in Alaska, and I know when you're far from Utah (LIKE I AM UP IN WASHINGTON STATE), the occasion of seeing your own books on a shelf is few and far in between. What's even better? I overheard this in the store "Oh my gosh, Next Door Boys was such a good book! You have to read it!" I swear! Hope that puts a smile on your face Jolene.

Signing

2011-11-11T08:58:00.001-08:00

I will be signing copies of

Growing Up Gracie

today at

The Brass Plates Bookstore

with author Wendy Paul.

2-5
Spokane Valley

Come see me!!!

The writer who wasn't writing

2011-11-09T07:03:00.001-08:00

I'm so mad at myself for this lack of writing I've been having lately. The things from the writing books I always read just keep coursing through my brain (you MUST write every day or you will fail. Fail. Fail.) Okay, maybe not in those words exactly.

But I just can't at this moment. I am still buried in photo editing. I am helping husband with school every night. And I think a good mommy also knows when she has too many irons in the fire and her family is taking a back seat.

I will get there. I promise!

For now though, The MOMMY part is outweighing the WRITER part.

Are you a strict, strict writer? Do you write every day no matter what? Or are there periods in your life where this talent/hobby/profession must take a backseat. You can be honest with me here. If you think I'm losing it forever by being a slacker, I can take it.

So I was thinking...

2011-11-06T22:10:00.000-08:00

~I should charge pay-per-view for tantrums like the one Daughter #2 had today. It was pretty impressive!

~I'm done with these run of the mill trials. I am ready for the bigger trials. (But ONLY these two in particular: 1. That trial where you have so much money you have to be humbled. 2. That trial where you're so pretty you're not sure whether people really like you for you or just because you're pretty).

~I'm so happy the Halloween Hoopla is over with. Bring on the mashed potatoes and Christmas music!

~Little #4 now copies every word we say and thankfully no one at this house has dirty mouths. Still, he's learning how to mimic some funny stuff. Like this: "Go away!" "Oh shoot!" and "In a minute!" He also tells birds on light poles to "Get Down!"

~I'm missing my bestie (who moved away a few months ago). And I'll give her a big shout out today because she ran her first half marathon this weekend and killed it. Way to go Shalie!

~I will admit it. I'm kind of excited to see the last Twilight Movie. I'm so tired right now I can't even remember what it's called and I'm too lazy to find one of the eleventy billion websites dedicated to it. But yes, I'll be there. (Not at the freezing cold-middle-of-the-night one though).

~Since babies wake up based on their bodies--and could care less about Daylight Savings Time--we got an extra hour to get ready for Church today. And you know what? It was the first time in ages we weren't late. Yahoo.

What were you thinking?

Did you know?

2011-11-01T12:59:00.001-07:00

Did you know I have a whole other hobby/business/thing-that-takes-up-tons of time?

No... I don't do tight rope walking
No... It's not breastmilk selling
No... I'm not an envelope stuffer who makes thousands "from the comfort of my own home."

Are you out of guesses?

I will give you a hint. Here's my baby (and yes, it cost more than my first several cars... Combined.)

I'm a portrait photographer. I have been for close to ten years. I learned the skill in college and as a reporter at community newspapers during and after college. (WOW, writing and photography came from the same place!)

Just like my writing, my photography business goes in phases. When I'm in the mood I'll take on lots of sessions. When I'm too busy I pass my clients on to other photographers.

And why do I bring this up now?

Because during the past thirty days I did 20 mini sessions and one full newborn session, so it's very much on my mind right now as my rear sits in this chair and edits, and edits and edits until my eyeballs threaten to explode. You thought novel revisions were annoying? Try successfully Photoshopping a pesky hair out of a woman's eyeball.

So, if you want to check out my other thing. Go here. For now I'll give you a little sneak peek into that other world.

What else keeps you busy? An etsy shop? Genealogy? The PTA?

The Help

2011-10-31T06:38:00.000-07:00

I'm sure I was the last of you to read this. But lately Mr. Fechner has needed the computer all the time for school, so I had to read a good old fashioned paper book instead of a manuscript.

I loved The Help. I read it in just a few days.

Here are some discussion questions on the novel. Answer one of these if you want.

1. What do you think motivated Hilly? On one hand she is terribly cruel to Aibileen and her own help, as well as to Skeeter once she realizes that she can't control her. Yet she's a wonderful mother. Do you think that one can be a good mother and, at the same time, a deeply flawed person?

2. What were your thoughts on Minny's pie for Miss Hilly? Do you think a domestic worker would have ever gone this far to get back at their white employer?

3. What were your thoughts on the movie compared to the book. Do you think it was a good rendition?

A random thought about conversing (and the odd things I feel I must slip in...)

2011-10-27T22:02:00.001-07:00

So one time my husband and I were on a date (or a non-date if you read this post about us being just friends) with another couple. We were talking about Hawaii, and I slipped in a little tidbit that went something like this, "ya, when my parents went there they went to the sugar cane fields," or something like that (because it was pertinent to the conversation). The guy who was the friend of my date turned around and looked at me and said this: "That sounded like you just said that so we would know your parents went to Hawaii."

I laughed it off, but I was kind of offended because I really had been just trying to contribute to the conversation. I mean who cares that my parents had been to Hawaii? Who's parents haven't been to Hawaii?

But tonight, for some reason, I got to thinking about similar conversation situations.

I feel like within each of us is some sort of a need to tell people certain things. Right? Are there some things you seem to tell people all the time (even folks you don't know well enough to?) just because you feel more validated as a person?

Maybe you HAVE to tell people you're a writer.
Maybe you HAVE to tell people you were a foster parent for triplets.
Maybe you HAVE to tell people you have an eleventh toe.

I don't know what your little HAVE TO mentions are. But here are mine:

*That I have big babies. I'm not sure if this makes me feel less embarrassed about the torpedo belly I grow every time I get pregnant or what. But I find myself slipping this in conversations all the time. And just because I can't resist, here it is: 9 pounds; 8 pounds 4 ounces; 9 pounds 6 ounces; and 9 pounds 6 ounces. Aaahhh how wonderful that feels (writing it, that is, not giving birth to it). Now don't you think I'm more of a woman? And maybe you'll forgive my wide hips? Ahem, anywho...

*That two of my children are close. They are 17 months and two days apart to be exact. Is this CRAZY close? No. Not really. I'm sure some of you have kids who are a year apart. In fact, a girl in my ward is like nine months apart from one of her siblings. But for some reason I feel validated by this statement. (And I even tend to exaggerate it to 16 months sometimes.) Because yes, that three days difference would really explain so much...... I know. I am certifiably insane.

*That I've been skydiving. See my ABOUT ME PAGE as case in point. Was it a blast? Yes! Would I ever do it again? Probably not because that one bone I had that used to be brave was forever lost when I plopped out a placenta and became a mother. Did I mention that was a pound too? Oh I digress.

*Money. This one makes me mad. Because I don't like when people talk about money. And I don't meet people on the street and say, "hey guess what? Our mortgage is xxxx per month" or anything embarrassing like that. But when I get around my besties or my family, money stuff (or the lack of it) seems to come out of my mouth a lot. I want to quit this. Make me stop.

*One odd thing I tend NOT to slip into conversations is that I am an author. This is terrifying to me for some reason (and could be a contributor to my book sales. Hmmm...).

So I'm hoping that by slipping these things into this blog, I can learn to refrain from slipping them into real-life conversations from here on out. In reality I am not a great converse-er. In high school and college I was outgoing and popular. I talked to lots of people. Then I married Mr. Shy and instead of me making him a Chatty Chatterson, he has molded me into a more sidelines kinda gal. These days I get all sweaty and nervous and fill the lulls in conversation with crazy stuff:

"Oh, did you say you grew cucumbers this year?....... That reminds me of my nine and a half pound baby."

What do you slip in to conversations? Do you wish you could quit this.

The Five-Year Plan

2011-10-26T07:51:00.001-07:00

This beezniss can be a tough one. I told my critique partner yesterday that I'm convinced we get 100 bad news-es for every one good news. And those good newses are SLOOOOOOOW coming. To make it as an author, you need to have an eye for the long term.

So, what is your five-year writer's plan?

Here is where I hope to be in five years:
-I hope to be enjoying writing
-I hope to have an agent
-I hope to have two more LDS published titles
-I hope to have at least one mainstream published book
-I hope to still be reading a lot of craft books, and just-for-fun books
-I hope to be attending conferences
-I hope to be still maintaining my platform through my blog (if blogging is even still around by then)

What about you. What are your long term goals?

Thoughts on Halloween

2011-10-24T12:31:00.000-07:00

Here are Maggie's thoughts on Halloween:

1. "This is the song that never ends. Oh it goes on and on my friends...."
That's how Halloween feels to me. We have parties Wednesday, two on Friday, one on Saturday, and--oh yeah--the REAL holiday on Monday.

2. What I like most about Halloween: hearing the Monster Mash on the radio.
What I dislike most about Halloween: um, everything else??

Just kidding. I'm not that bad. I don't close my curtains and hide out on the Spooky Night of the year, but as I get older, I'm realizing I enjoy this holiday less and less.

First of all, every year my group of friends has a Halloween bash. Awesome, right? Yes! Tons of fun. Except for one thing: you HAVE to wear a costume. So, each year, I spend approximately thirty days running possible costume ideas by my husband. He spends approximately thirty days telling me why each one won't work. This is crazy making. And what usually happens is we throw something together in the last thirty minutes that is, well let's just say, not-award-worthy. The above picture is us a couple years ago as a Chick Magnet.

Second of all, my kids get sweets ALL the time, they don't really need a whole extra week devoted to loading up on more sweets. Remember when dessert and sweets were a special occasion? I remember hoarding my Halloween candy for ages because that was mostly likely the only candy I would be getting until my stocking on Christmas morning. But not any more. Here are some of the ways my kids get sweets: at home (duh, I like them too), at the bank, at church, at school, at the doctor's office. You know what I mean.

And finally the costumes. First off, I don't buy costumes. But before you go all "well-isn't-she-Miss-Betty-Homemaker-sewing-up-her-kids'-costumes-by-hand" on me, let me explain. I don't buy costumes. AND I don't sew costumes. I'm too cheap for either. If it can't be hot glued, forget about it. Yes, I am a mean, mean mother. Most of our costumes consist of regular clothes reconstituted. For instance, Daughter #3 is a ballerina (have all that junk); Daughter #2 is a old woman (pillows, a head scarf and mom's clothes make this easy peasy); Daughter #1 is a jockey (yeah, so this costume might not be easily guessed by others, but she thinks she looks like one, so who cares?). And baby? He gets a store bought costume! (Bought by my friend and hand-me-downed).
As far as adult store-bought costumes, I'm confused. How come no one dresses up as a nurse, a school girl, or a maid? But EVERYONE dresses up as a slutty nurse, a slutty school girl, and a slutty maid. There are even slutty kitty cats for goodness sakes. Why? Oh why?

What are your thoughts on Halloween? And... Have any good costume ideas for me and hubby?

And the writer was...

2011-10-20T08:19:00.000-07:00

Kristin got it right (in yesterday's post). The author of that statement (about improving your writing skill) was Stephen King in On Writing. I still don't know where I stand on his thought. I kind of agree with one of my commenters who said you can't teach the art of telling a story, but the skill of writing it can be improved.

In On Writing, King told about his road to fame which was fun to read. Can you believe he couldn't afford to keep his phone on and was writing in a laundry room when the letter came that Carrie had sold paperback rights for $400,000?

I also liked that he said even though writing is a huge part of your life, it need not be the center of your universe. He talks A LOT about how important his wife and family are to him, and I loved that.

I'm not sure I agree with all of his writing tips, for instance, he said writing conferences and classes don't do a whole lot besides affirm to you that spending your time writing is worthwhile.

But, I learned lots of other cool stuff. I loved his advice that when you write your first draft, you write with the door closed. Don't let anyone else in on your thoughts and just go gung ho. He said don't take more than a day off a WIP at a time or else you will lose your momentum. He said a rough draft shouldn't take longer than three to five months. When you write your second draft, write with the door open.

Another interesting tidbit he shared was this formula: second draft= first draft - 10%. He said he naturally was an adder of words, not a deleter of words, but since he's learned that formula his writing has greatly improved.

All in all, it was a good craft book and I enjoyed it.

Have you read this book? Are you a fan of Stephen King's fiction? What do you think of him?

What do you think?

2011-10-19T07:48:00.000-07:00

I recently read this:

"...while it is impossible to make a competent writer out of a bad writer, and while it is equally impossible to make a great writer out of a good one, it is possible, with lots of hard work, dedication, and timely help, to make a good writer out of a merely competent one."

I can't decide if this depresses me or encourages me. I guess it depends on where I rank myself. I hope I am at least a competent writer.

How does this quote make you feel? Do you agree? Do you disagree? And for bonus points, who wrote this?

The rest of the story

2011-10-17T05:16:00.000-07:00

On with the story of how Dan and I met.

So anyway, like I said, one of the guys of the group asked me out, but it wasn't Dan. We went on a few dates--one super fun one that involved jumping off a thirty foot bridge into a river--but decided to just move on. All the while I continued to hang out with the group of guys. Then one day Dan called and invited me to a group activity. I didn't think much of it.
When the three guys picked me up, they insisted I ride in the front seat (Dan was driving, but not the cool truck). Dan said "hi" and NOTHING ELSE for the entire two hour drive to the lake cabin for a day of boating (and yes, more swim suits for me).
Anyways, to make a monstrous long story a little bit shorter, more and more of these group things went on.
Then one day Dan called and asked me out. I thought this a little bit odd since I had kind of gotten comfortable in the group setting. But I said yes. We did a double date to the fair with a couple who was really lovey dovey. Then a few days later Dan took me mudding. Or, if you're from Washington, you would call it "four-bying." Psshhh. Either way it means tromping around on huge hills and muddy backroads in a truck. I had a BLAST! In fact, I hadn't had so much fun since Wyoming. Still, Dan barely talked and when he kissed me that night he was so nervous he almost fainted-- no joke!
We went on several more dates over the next couple of weeks, but not much changed. Finally, I couldn't handle the sitting in silence (I'm pretty social) and I told Dan the dating thing just wasn't working. I broke up with him and went back to the roster of potential datees.
But guess what? Dan didn't give up.
We went back to hanging out with the whole group. We started hanging out alone--as JUST FRIENDS. And you know what? As soon as the pressure of being a boyfriend-girlfriend was off, Dan opened up. He speaks!!!
Over the next six months, Dan and I became best friends. We weren't dating (at least in the regular sense). We didn't kiss. But we hung out every single day and I had the time of my life. The non-dates Dan and I enjoyed included: smashing pumpkins off of bridges; going on super long drives to nowhere; riding bikes; camping (don't worry, these trips were supervised people); and just hanging out. And talking. And talking. And talking.
One night after a super fun mudding trip, I walked in my door and said to my Mom "I'm going to marry him someday." I immediately covered my mouth and backtracked "No, I'm not. It's Dan!"
Dan was an awesome best friend.
I graduated college and took a few months off and started needing to figure out a life plan. I signed up to join the Americorp (think Peacecorp in America) and began getting ready to move to Maryland in January. Something in my heart told me not to go over and over and over again. But I had no real reason to stay. I didn't have a job. I didn't have a boyfriend. I was ready to move on in life. My plane tickets were on their way for me to leave in less than a month.
It was December and Dan offered to pick me up for the Church's annual Christmas Devotional broadcast. I told him he didn't need to and I rode with my Mom. After the program, Dan asked if he could drive me home. Again I told him he didn't need to I could ride with my mom. Talk about a major plan foiler! I went home and about an hour later he called and asked if he could come over.
Remember we were not DATING (in fact I was still going on dates with other guys although I didn't have a boyfriend). Dan came over to the house and we were down in my room talking but he was acting weird. He was so freaking nervous for some reason, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was.
He kept saying stuff about how much fun we had together and everything like that. Finally, exasperated with what he was trying to get across, I said "Are you trying to say you want to try dating again?" (Remember I was planning on moving across country in a matter of weeks).
Dan went down on his knee pulled out a gorgeous ring and said, "Actually no. I'm saying will you marry me?"

Yes. Talk about a shocker.
Now, most of you kind of knew when your proposal was coming. Right? Me? Not. A. Clue. We weren't even dating! Beat that for shortest Mormon relationship!

It sounds corny, but with absolutely shaking hands I just said a silent prayer and asked Heavenly Father if it was right, and I knew it was. I really, really knew.

And I said yes!

We kissed. Told everyone else. And were married four months later.

Crazy huh? I love the behind-the-scenes story of our engagement though. On one of our nights tromping around in the backwoods I guess (I don't remember this) I described my dream wedding ring to Dan. He remembered. He bought it for me.

Also, during singles ward that morning, he had snuck out of Church and went and asked my Dad's permission to marry me. You know what my Dad said? "Don't feel too bad if she says no."

But I said yes.

It was a different route to marriage than most people's, but it had to be that way for us. It would have NEVER worked out the first time around (when he was still Mr. Silent), but becoming best friends was the perfect natural progression for one of the shyest guys in the world.

Dan is still a pretty quiet guy. Not at home, of course, but around new people. He is the most wonderful man I know. I am so blessed that he picked me. I love him with all of my heart. And I am so lucky we get to be together for eternity.

Share your real-lief love story. The long or the short of it.

That post with an overabundance of dashes and parenthetical statements

2011-10-14T07:20:00.000-07:00

I bet you didn't know that you were going to read the story of how me and my husband met. Yep. That's what's on the schedule. There's nothing Mommy today. There's nothing writerly today. There's not the usual random crazy fodder to fill your brain. Today I have an actual story.

In high school I was a one-man-woman and had a relationship that lasted several years and spilled into college. After an especially hard break up I took it upon myself to test the advice to date a bunch of guys and just have fun.

And so I did.

I rolled down the singles ward list with vigor. There was the pre-mission guy who I was certain I'd wait for (does four months count?) There was the recent convert who LOVED the same football team as me (if that's not celestial enough, what is?) Unfortunately he also loved to date (and kiss) lots of girls at the same time. There was the guy down the hall who was still too immature. There was the fun guy who made me feel like a million bucks but was also stuck helplessly in a decade old love-triangle that he couldn't completely break free from. Next there was his roommate. He was a super fun guy. The only guy I'd ever dated who was shorter than me, but still very cute and training to be a pilot. For a date he invited me and previous-boyfriend-roommate-guy up in his little plane over Eastern Washington. Oh what fun, right?! Right... The ride started innocent enough. I offered to sit in the tiny back seat while the two guys sat up front. Yeah, I know. This is sounding less and less like a date. Anywho, about twenty minutes into the ride we started doing some left-then-right maneuvers. Some up-then-down maneuvers. Some oh-crap-I'm-going-to-barf-maneuvers. And when date looked back and saw me sweating profusely and completely green, he knew what was about to come up. He emptied out his pilot bag and I filled it faster than you could say Holy Ruined Date. But I digress. That man is not my husband. Moving on.

A mutual friend introduced me to a guy named Dan at a fireside and I didn't think much of him. Sorry. No love at first sight. He was nice, but he said "hi" and that was it. But the second time I saw him, I remember well. I was at a canoeing activity (new singles ward, new roster of potential datees). A huge black truck came barreling into the parking lot pulling a monstrous trailer of canoes and I had one thought: "Now this guy looks like a Wyoming guy!" (Everyone in Wyoming has a humongous truck and the lack of humongous trucks in Washington, since I grew up in Wyoming, was a serious beef of mine). A few weeks later the friend who had introduced us started inviting me to a few hangouts where Dan was. But--and let me get this straight here--I had no clue he liked me. If there was one thing I'd learned about Dan (besides that he had a great truck), was that he was silent. Very. Very. Quiet.

The group activities (in which I was usually the only girl in a big group of guys who had grown up together) consisted of swimming in pools and swimming in lakes and watching movies. And now that I think about it, I wonder if this was a ploy to get me in my swimsuit on multiple occasions. Hmmm... Anyway, guess what happened? One of the guys asked me out.

But it wasn't Dan.

Holy schmoley is this post getting long. Sorry. I will continue it on Monday!

Did this strike a cord with your dating life? I'd love to hear a dating disaster or experience of yours.

This is what it's all about

2011-10-11T15:51:00.001-07:00

I'm not even going to tell you all the things you should ignore about this photo (let's just say it's not my best). BUT... On to the post.

There are many things I love about writing, but number one, HANDS DOWN, is when a manuscript is finished. DONE! And ready to go.

Here is my third manuscript heading out the door. It's an LDS non-fiction book I wrote with a co-author (my crit partner Bonnie R. Paulson).

Wish this baby good luck!

Have you submitted anything lately? Getting close?

All about you

2011-10-07T09:45:00.000-07:00

Boy looking back on the last few weeks my blog has sure gotten a little Look-At-Me Look-At-Me, hasn't it?

Oops, sorry folks. Back to our regular scheduled program.

So for this Fall Friday let's talk about you.

Check out some of my awesome writing friends:

Bonnie Paulson: Critique partner extraordinaire, lover of dirt bikes, awesome cook, and hardest worker I know. Bonnie is a super stud (and by the way she has a new novel out by Carina Press!)

Rachael Renee Anderson: This was the FIRST lady to help me in the LDS publishing world when I was a brand new newbie. She has three published LDS novels and is super sweet. She is a lover of happy endings. Go check her out.

Jolene Perry: If I only have time to check out one blog. It's Jolene's. Why? Because she's super witty and fun. And by the way this hard worker seems to post good news ALL the time. Am I jealous? Of course. Do I love her? YES!

Emily Rittel-King: This gal is newer to the blogging world, but she has some awesome tricks up her sleeve. How do I know this? She regularly pulls 30-ish comments on her posts! She is super sweet and fun and I can't wait to see some of her writing.

Brittany: I just found this blog a few weeks ago and instantly love it. Why? It's called My Life Herding Cats (and whenever I am trying to get all my kids moving in one direction I feel like I'm herding cats... Oops, back to me again.) Brittany's posts are fun and honest and I love them.

Jessica R. Patch: I love Jessica's sweet personality. She is a consistent commenter on so many blogs and her blog combines all things Christiany and writerly in a wonderful way.

Melanie Jacobson: This LDS Chic Lit author is so funny and honest, her blog will have you ready to pee your pants. She also has a new book out and is doing tons of give-aways. Check her out!

Kaylee Baldwin: Our books came out with the same pubber just a month apart and I've liked Kaylee ever since. She is really sweet and her writing is wonderful!

Any favorites you would like to add?

Our little crazies...

2011-10-05T10:32:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling extra crazy this week--like even more than my normal never-going-to-make-it-through-this-day-without-breaking crazy. So I thought I'd share some of my craziness and maybe you could share yours (or maybe I'm just hoping someone else out there is as weird as I am).

Maggie's list of crazies...
-I hate feet. Hate them. After my kids are about two years old, cutting their toenails is about the worst form of torture (for me, not them) I could imagine.
-At times I hate writing. I feel a pull to it, and I NEED to do it, but I absolutely don't want to. Most times I really want to do it, but yes, sometimes there is serious hate.
-I have this odd notion that everyone is older than me. At Church I look around and imagine myself in the young crowd. When I find out people's ages (and yes, I stalk around a bit to discover this) I am soooo amazed to find out everyone I thought I would fit in with are way, way under thirty and I am an old, old woman of thirty-one.
-Certain days of the month (and yes, I'm just going to go ahead and say it) such as exactly ten days before that womanly monthly visitor, I am a pyscho. Seriously. I cry at songs on the radio. I yell at kids for breathing wrong (not really). I feel the need to reevaluate EVERY aspect of my life because NOTHING is going right. I strongly consider becoming medicated. Then I look at the calendar and take a big sigh of relief.
-I HATE loud clapping. Not the arena or sporting event version--that's fine. I hate when people clap for no reason. Why would people clap for no reason? I'm not sure. Maybe you should ask my husband.
-Since we're really revealing here (or just I am revealing, and I'm going to feel really stupid when I find out everyone else is really sane), I will admit that I am all kinds of crazy when it comes to cleaning. I NEVER sort laundry. And sometimes if I find a little toy and don't really feel like walking all the way downstairs to the toy box, I do exactly what CHILDREN do, I toss it behind the nearest piece of furniture.

There, I've said it. I'm crazy!

Are you?

Talking about our questions

2011-10-03T06:44:00.001-07:00

Last week I asked you to pose some questions that you have and we would talk about them. I loved your questions. I'm going to list them here and give our readers a chance to answer. Then if we're still scratching our heads, I'll do a bit of research and give you the answers I come up with in a few days.

-Why do people hate adverbs?

-What do editors mean when they want more "high concept" fiction?

-What's a meme?

-What does it mean to "show don't tell"?

-Did Deseret buy Covenant and do I submit to them separately?

-What is a timeslip novel?

Alright, tackle one of these or all of these if you know the answer, or if you have more questions, add them to our list!

What you always wanted to ask.

2011-09-29T13:10:00.000-07:00

Okie dokie.

In this writing blog world of ours, there are many hmmm, how shall we say this... Know-it alls? I tend to be more of a know-it-nothing.(Like the grammer there?)

And sometimes when I'm out perusing blogs, I feel like I better be in tip top form. I better not let anyone know that I am still learning. I mean really learning. Sometimes I feel I'm at the bottom of the learning totem pole.

And guess what? I've been blogging for two years. I've been writing for ten years. I have a writing related degree. And I have a published novel!

But in the vast world of what-I-feel-I-need-to-know, I have only scratched the surface. I've only scratched the surface of the surface. I've only.... Okay, I'll spare you.

But all that aside, I decided today is the day you can let your faults be known.

Are there terms your fellow bloggers use that you just don't understand? Do you nod your head and smile thinking "what the heck is she talking about?" Are there topics you read about again and again that are failing to sink in?

Today's the day. ASK AWAY! There will be no judging of you (or me) for what you do NOT know. In fact, I think it's refreshing to admit we're still learning.

So, here is what I have been wanting to know (and of course, I could find the answer to this via Google in five minutes, but that wouldn't be fun now would it?)

What in the crap is Steampunk?

Go ahead, hit me with the answer. And while you're at it, please leave a question you've been wondering about. We'll all try to answer each other.

You know there's housework to be done when...

2011-09-27T13:41:00.001-07:00

When I have serious editing and revisions to tackle, you can guarantee I will procrastinate the heck out of it by cleaning my house. Sparkling toilets? I should be fixing my POV. Reorganized cupboards? I should be paring down my adjectives.

And now, I'm on the flip side.

I SHOULD be organizing the house we just moved into. Instead, I made myself a new About Me page on my blog. Check it out, it's super fun!

http://maggiefechner.blogspot.com/p/about-maggie.html

What do you procrastinate? And what activities fill your time when you SHOULD be doing something else?

Have you ever

2011-09-23T06:52:00.000-07:00

HAVE YOU EVER
...been asked if you were a daycare center when you were out and about with just your own family?
...been told, "you have your hands full" and thought the other half of my kids are at school!
...been given dirty looks in the grocery store?
...been asked "don't you know how this happens?"
...had to buy a pregnancy test with all your kids in the cart?

Yes, all of these things have happened to me. Sometimes people look at me as if I alone have overpopulated the Earth. And I only have four kids! On the flip side, older people often come up to us and say how neat it is because they don't see large families any more.

And, by the way, I know this is a kind of lame blog post, but today is moving day for the Fechner family, so this is the best I've got. Our move is only a mile away, but still, it's going to be a hectic day.

Share some of your "big family" moments.

Shut up and write already!

2011-09-21T05:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in the blogging/writing world, I feel like I spend more time "talking" about writing than actually writing. So today my blog post is an un-post. My WIP is currently at 41,000 words and I still want to be finished with my rough draft by the end of the year. I'm just writing this morning. Feel free to join!

Do you ever spend more time blogging/facebooking about writing than really just writing?

Sometimes the two don't mix

2011-09-19T06:39:00.000-07:00

I LOVE my kids. These four littles are a HUGE part of why I felt I was put on this Earth. Without them I would not be complete.

I LOVE to write. I feel I was called by Heavenly Father to write. When I go even a few days without writing, I begin to feel down.

Writing is an excellent stay-at-home Mom job because you can do it from your own computer. However, I find being a Mom and being a writer at the same time don't mix. My writing schedule has traditionally been from 5-6:30 a.m. but over the past several weeks I have been a super lazy bones and not gotten out of bed early. Boy have I paid for this!

So, instead of writing when the house is quiet and peaceful, I've tried to eek out my word count during my Mommy hours.

Here's the results: (and please don't analyze the writing. This is a very, very, first rough draft)

Emmy ordered a hot chocolate and warmed her hands around the cup.
Mom, I need a drink of water!

She held it under her mouth and let the steam swirl up and meet
Mom, Lily's hitting Ryan!

her lips. The train was freezing. She glanced at the clock over the bar
How many minutes until the bus gets here? My hair is messed up, can you do it again?

and saw it was four forty five in the morning. They should be in Greybull by six.
Mom, you NEVER pay attention to me! I said I want a snack.
Me: let's turn on the TV for a few minutes.

Emmy finished the drink and tiptoed past the sleeping passengers on both sides of her. She reached under her seat
Mom! It's on grown-up shows!

and pulled out the blanket the attendants had passed out. She wrapped it around her shoulders
Mom! Did you pack my snack? *Baby begins crying*
Ryan wants up on the bed!

and
Mom! Come see this!
Me: Just a minute!
No. You have to hurry!
Me: Just a minute!
MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
*I rush to the TV to see a commercial for anti-acne cream*
Mom, maybe you should get that. Then your face would be more prettier.

pulled up the socks she had put on over her stockings. Emmy reached for the chair
I think the bus is coming!
*Baby cries*
Lily just hit Ryan!

in front of her to sit down but the train lurched forward and
Mom. Come wipe!
*Turns off computer*

Tomorrow I WILL wake up at 5 a.m. Anybody want to give me a wake-up call?

How do you mix motherhood and writerhood? Or do you, like me, find they need to occupy different time slots?

Fall is coming!

2011-09-14T07:25:00.000-07:00

Hooray. My favorite season is on its way. What show are you most excited for this fall?

Me?

PARENTHOOD! I so looooove this show and want to know why? It's a family saga--my favorite book genre.

THE VOICE! Adam Levine is awesome. Cee Lo makes me laugh. And Christina is gorgeous. Oh, and the singers are great too.

MODERN FAMILY! If you haven't watched this yet, order the back seasons now. Funniest thing on TV.

What are your fall shows?

Speed in your opening

2011-09-12T09:41:00.001-07:00

My Journalism professors spoke a lot about leads. And speed. And how every single word in your first paragraph (or lead) should cost you a dollar.

Now, if you don't know the average salary of a newspaper reporter, let's just say this--it makes teachers look like they're rollin' in the dough. Paying a dollar for every word used would be akin to taking a pay cut.

But the point of my professors' logic wasn't to steal from poor starving students. Instead, it was to teach us to learn to GET TO THE POINT in our writing. News articles are measured in column inches, not pages, and a reporter has a very limited time to catch a reader's attention. Writing a novel is the same way.

If you've read any writing craft books (WHICH YOU FREAKING BETTER! YOU WANT TO BE A WRITER FOR GOODNESS SAKES!) you know that speed in your opening is of utmost importance. You have to catch the reader right away by introducing the problem, or conflict, or at the very least by alluding to some sort of change in the normal pace of life.

This is one of the most difficult aspects of writing for me. In fact, in every novel I've written so far, I end up chopping my first several chapters so that I can get to the point. (My critique partner can attest to this problem I have). I seem to think my readers need to know everything about a character before we can dive into the problem.

So, here's the point of my blog post: (Yes, I know, I didn't have much speed in getting to the point here) Why can some authors break this rule and still come out with a riveting book?

I am currently reading Anna Quindlen's EVERY LAST ONE. I love the book and can't put it down, so would you believe me when I say she didn't present the book's major problem until page 156? I kid you not! Page 156 out of a 330 page novel. This is definitely a character driven book, but still, how can she get away with breaking such an important rule and still come up with a best seller?

In my opinion, she does it by using these techniques:
1. Takes the American Dream to such heights that the fall will be unfathomable.
2. Creates such real characters that we read ourselves (or the "ourselves" we wish we were) in them.
3. Creates mini problems along the way to the BIG ONE. Now, the mini problems in this example weren't of much consequence: a depressed teenage son, a comfortable but not passionate marriage, a minor setback with the MC's landscaping company, etc.

I'm not suggesting any of us try these techniques and wait until our novel is half over to get to the point, I am just trying to work out in my mind how it works for Quindlen. I tend to believe you have to be quite masterful at the craft before you can blatantly and successfully break rules. If I am a rule breaker at this point, it's probably because I'm still learning.

Do you struggle with speed in your opening? OR, What books have you read where major rules are broken successfully? Are you a rule breaker?

First Week of School Woes

2011-09-08T08:21:00.000-07:00

Random facts about the first week of school that made me feel like a terrible mother:

1. Girl #3 has a tantrum when I PICK HER UP from Preschool--Not when I drop her off.
2. I tell Girl #2 I missed her so much while she was at Kindergarten. She says, "Really Mom? I forgot all about you!"
3. I forget to pack the "potty clothes" for Girl #3.
4. I forget to pack the water bottle for Girl #2.
5. I forget to pack the snack for Girl #1.
6. Keeping bus numbers and start and stop times straight in my head has me woozy. We have a morning preschooler, an afternoon kindergartener, and an all-dayer.
7. I filled out so many emergency forms I am beginning to think there absolutely MUST be many, many, many emergencies in public schools these days. (And this reminded me of the time my little sister had to fill out her own forms at the Dr.'s office because our Mom dropped her six-year-old off and let her go in by herself. Under the question Emergency Contact, she wrote, 911.)

Have any of you had a crazy first week back to school? Going from one kid in school to three has me running around like a chicken with my head cut off!

Share some first week of school woes.

Wait, wait, wait

2011-09-06T12:14:00.001-07:00

As the microwave ticks down the seconds, I stand there impatiently tapping my foot. Fifty seconds is all it takes to warm a corn dog for my kids, but hungry children can do a lot of screaming in fifty seconds!

Teaching children to WAIT can be a difficult lesson. But I believe teaching adults to wait can be even harder.

If you are anywhere near the generation I occupy, you probably find waiting difficult. We are part of the "instant gratification" era where we can quite literally get what we want when we want it.

Remember the days when you and your friends waited to hear a certain song on the radio? I would sit with my cassette tape in the stereo and my finger poised over the RECORD button waiting for the announcement of my favorite song.

But not today. Today you type in the title of a song on your computer. Or your phone. Or your ipad or ipod or e-something-or-other. And instantly you have the lyrics, the downloadable version (legal and illegal), and a music video. Getting your needs met quickly is quite easy.

However, even in today's super-fast world, there are still things we have to wait for.

When I think of waiting, the most torturous wait seems to be the process of having a baby. First there is the wait until you're ready to get pregnant. Then there is the wait to conceive (counting days and what not). Then there is the wait until a pregnancy test is viable. Next, if timing is right and you get a + sign, the WAIT of your life awaits you. Forty weeks of wait, wait, wait.

There are many other waits in life as well. We wait for our children to hit milestones. We wait for jobs to change or health to improve or relationships to evolve.

And waiting is hard. Oh my gosh is waiting hard.

I honestly feel like I have been waiting this entire summer for a few emails. A whole season of waiting!

Although I wish this weren't a lesson Heavenly Father needs me to learn (patience), I know I need it. And so I wait with a cheerful--I mean somewhat cheerful--heart and hope for the best.

What has been a difficult wait in your life? Do you handle waiting well?

Go ahead, give it a shot

2011-09-01T06:58:00.000-07:00

You can't go very many days in the writing blog world without coming across a post about plotting or being a by-the-seat-of-your-pants writer. These posts are usually titled something like Plotter vs. Pantster.

And I used to pride myself on being a pantster.

English was always my best subject growing up. I had no problem pumping out several-page papers. Essay questions were my forte. And I'd brag about straight A's (without ever writing an outline). In college, it went the same way, and when I began my career in a writing field (journalism) my attitude continued.

I did my best writing by simply sitting down and writing. Fast and furious.

Then I read a writing book, and the idea for my new story began unfolding in my head. I imagined plot twists and character arcs, settings and a killer climax. I decided to write it down.

I spent several hours working on my outline (which my crit partner told me was actually a synopsis since it wasn't in list form). This was a whole new experience for me. The synopsis ended up being a couple of typed pages. This was decidedly anti-pantster behavior, but it felt natural, so I went with it.

And you know what? I don't think I'll ever write another novel without a synopsis first. It has made such a difference in the speed of my writing. It has made such a difference in knowing exactly where I'm going. It's made such a difference in remembering where the story started.

I'm in love. Plotting IS worthwhile.

Now while I work on my WIP, I have the synopsis up on my computer at the same time. I highlight each sentence as I finish that portion of my story. It gives me a rough idea of how far along I am. If I make major changes in the story, I add those into my synopsis so that the end result will be a good summary of the book.

So today I'm challenging you to give the other team a try. Are you a strict plotter? Then try to write something letting the creative process flow with no worry of where things are going until you get there. Are you a pantster? Give an outline or a synopsis a chance.

Go ahead, play for the other team this once. You never know what you might discover.

Plotter or Pantster? Are you open to switching things up a bit?

Storymakers Advice

2011-08-30T17:49:00.000-07:00

Alright, I missed out for two years in a row. I am definitely going to LDS Storymakers Conference in 2012.

I know it's early to be making plans, but I am.

Here are my questions for those of you who go regularly (or even have gone once).

*When would you fly in? Thursday afternoon, night, Friday morning?
*How did you get from SLC to the conference center?
*When did you come home? Saturday night, Sunday morning?
*Did you stay at the Marriott? And did you share a room?

And add any other info a newbie like me should know. Thanks!

To make you laugh

2011-08-29T13:16:00.000-07:00

Some days you just need a good laugh. Here are my three favorite Internet sites to get me laughing. The first is called Awkward Family Photos. com. I usually end up crying I'm laughing so hard as I rifle through the horrid family pictures.

Second is Damn You Auto Correct! This one has funny messed up messages from cell phones.

Last is the Kid History videos made by a bunch of Mormon Dads. These took me a while to like, but now I think they're hilarious.

Do you have any LAUGHABLE websites to share?

How ROUGH is your rough?

2011-08-25T07:53:00.000-07:00

If you've been around this writerly blog for any length of time, you know I have no problem admitting my flaws. (There's plentiful material for blog posts that way.)

Today I'll be talking about feet. Well, er, feet in relation to writing. Hmmm... you're asking yourself. How could she possibly relate writing to feet? Hang in there and you'll find out.

You have feet. I have hooves.

You know those commercials where they show nasty, rough feet and you throw up a little in your mouth? Those feet look like a Christmas card compared to mine. The little cracks on your feet are normal. The cracks on my feet are Grand Canyons. I wear black running socks, so my Grand Canyons are now permanently black. From May to September my feet are in one of three things: water, sand, or flip flops. They are dry as dry could be. And it gets worse.... But, don't worry, I'll spare you the nasty details.

Sometimes I hear people talk about their rough summertime feet. And when I peek at their feet, I think wow, you wouldn't know a rough foot if it kicked you in the face.

My rough is rough.

I hate them. They're embarrassing. I feel the need to triple tip a pedicurist for having to deal with me.

Now, on to writing. Every novel starts with the rough draft, but everyone's "rough" is different. Some people spend three years on a rough draft. They painstakingly craft each sentence until it is perfect before they move on. When they are finished with that first draft, they may have very little needed in the way of revisions and editing.

Other people's "rough" is so rough they would rather show their nasty feet on public television than let someone read their novel the day they type The End.

These writers know a novel has to start somewhere, so they use the creative process to forge full-steam ahead. There is none or very little re-reading during the writing period.

Most of us probably fall somewhere in between. For me, a rough draft can take from three to six months. The work required after my rough draft is completed is still quite intensive. I usually must take several (like four or five) passes at full revisions and then a couple passes at copy editing.

You know what? As long as you promise to tackle those revisions with gusto, either way is okay. Last week I watched a WriteOnCon vlog with author Beth Revis. Speaking of her best selling novel, she said that probably less than ten percent of her original novel made it into the final draft!

So, where do you fall?

Is your rough draft like the picture above: beautiful, smooth, and close to your finished project? Or is your rough draft more like my feet (which I would NEVER post a picture of): rough, rough, rough and in need of serious repair?

Join the Writer's Platform Campaign!

2011-08-24T14:37:00.000-07:00

Rach Writes is hosting a Writer's Platform Campaign and would love for all of you to join. If you want to meet fellow writers and bloggers, check this out!

http://rachaelharrie.blogspot.com/2011/08/third-writers-platform-building.html

Writing the Breakout Novel

2011-08-23T13:57:00.000-07:00

Have you read this book?

Yes, I know. I know. It's old.... Like 2001 old. Old, as in Donald Maass says somethings like this, old: a terrorist attack by middle Easterners isn't a legitimate fear in the U.S.; and the e-publishing world may or may not make a big impact in the lives of readers and authors. BUT, besides all that outdatedness, it's a wonderful book on developing your craft.

You know I'm big on reading writing books. In fact it's something that is ALWAYS included on my current list of goals. I just finished this one and found a bunch of tidbits of wisdom.

Here are some of my favorite points Maass makes when teaching us about the "breakout" novel:

*He suggests you chart all of your characters, their traits, likes and dislikes. If several are similar, they can be combined. The key to several memorable characters is contrast.
*He suggests "breakout" settings are defined by how the character sees each scene, not how an author sees it.
*He talks about having tension on every page.
*To write a breakout novel, he says your premise must be outstanding. Take your original idea and build upon it. Ask, "but what if?" or "how could it get worse?"
*He teaches about the importance of upping the private and public stakes.

This book was great, and even though it's an old read, I'd suggest it. There were a few parts I thought were oddly placed such as his advice on how best to budget your upcoming six-figure advance, but most the advice was relevant to writers at any stage in their careers.

I was so motivated by Writing The Breakout Novel that I rewrote my premise and synopsis and have been building off of it in my current novel.

What writing tidbits of wisdom have you received lately? Maybe from a conference, a how-to book, or another author. Share.

Winner and MONDAY Random-ness

2011-08-22T07:46:00.000-07:00

Ruth Josse using Random.org, you are the winner of Bonnie Paulson's Breathe Again! Email her at Bonnie R Paulson @ Yahoo.com for the details.

(take out the spaces!)

And now for a Monday SMILE, here's me attempting to wake-surf (I'm better at wakeboarding, but only marginally :)

Because if you can't laugh at yourself, what's the point?

So, share. Are you athletic? Or do you try your best but still fall short (like I always do :)?

Drumroll, please

2011-08-19T08:10:00.000-07:00

Today I am hosting one of my favorite authors.

She is the princess of pacing...

The master of motivating...

The queen of querying....

The dirt-biking diva...

And the critique partner of your dreams.

It's Bonnie Paulson!

Bonnie's awesome romance BREATHE AGAIN was just released by Carina Press (get it for your Kindle). Doesn't her cover make you swoon? And guess what? Her MC's name is Maggie! (don't worry, she picked this before she met me :)

Bonnie decided to do a guest post for us today about Forgiving Ourselves. Read her post and leave a comment and I will do a random selection so that one of our readers will get a digital copy of her new book.

Forgive thy neighbor. Forgive. Love. Turn the other cheek. Forgive them their trespasses.
Always, always Christians are admonished to forgive. Forgive. And always to forgive others.
Rarely do we hear about forgiving ourselves. Sure, we repent for Heavenly Father’s forgiveness. We atone for the wrongdoings we’ve committed. We accept apologies from others who have harmed or offended us, those who have hurt or ill-used us.
But what about our greatest transgressors? Our greatest saboteurs? Ourselves.
I remember things I’ve done in the past. Stupid, mean, spiteful things that I did but that I wouldn’t normally do and that I did my best to fix with apologies and repentance. But I remember the action or deed. It tears me apart still today. I go over and over in my mind what I did and how I could have changed it or done it differently. Sometimes, the guilt wakes me up at night and sometimes it just sneaks up on me when I’m doing the dishes or washing the kids.
I can forgive others, easily, but myself, it seems, I hold to a standard so high, that even though I know the Lord has forgiven me, I cannot find it in my own heart to forgive myself.
How do we forgive ourselves? For each person the answer is different. In Breathe Again, Maggie berates herself for the death of her husband. Without answers to key questions, she feels she is to blame and she can’t accept the possible chance at happiness sitting so assuredly before her.
Brodan, too, can’t forgive himself for the terminal sickness of his brother. He didn’t cause it, couldn’t have prevented it, but he still holds himself back from life and love because the guilt overrides his actions.
Writing Breathe Again awakened an awareness in me that everyone is on their own journey. If we can’t do what we’re supposed to and even forgive ourselves, how can we find what we’re really looking for?
I don’t know what I’m looking for, but I know if Maggie can do it, I can too.
What do you think you’re looking for and how hard is it to forgive yourself?

Thanks for having me, Maggie. I just adore you and everything you’re trying to achieve.

Don't forget to comment and Monday morning we'll select a winner!

Articles I like from WriteOnCon today

2011-08-16T11:21:00.001-07:00

Check out these great articles for free today at the WriteOnCon conference site. Here are a few I've found today that I like so far. I'll add to the list as they come up!

1. Your Novel Isn't Ready Because...
***Yay, judging by all his points, my novel IS ready. Phew!***

2. How To Write A Killer First Sentence
***This made me rethink and rewrite my current WIP first sentence.***

3. Myths and Misconceptions
***In this video they talk about how it seems like EVERYONE but you is having good things happen to them over night. IT'S NOT TRUE! Did you know Suzanne Collins had lots of not-super-great books before Hunger Games? You do now!***

4. Your Own Hero's Journey
***I especially loved this because Kendra Levin says we all need GIFTS on our writing journey. Hooray for gifts!***

4. On Pacing
***She hit the nail on the head here: I take about 50 pages to get to the meat of my stories!***

What have you enjoyed at WriteOnCon?

Oooh, the rumble

2011-08-15T07:17:00.000-07:00

Do you hear it?

It's just my heart. I love the feeling of diving into a new project. I've written a smashing premise and synopsis and am now about 6,000 words into the story, and I'm still at that all-tingly stage.

This novel is actually the rewrite of a novella. I had a basic idea there, but I realized there could be so much more and the character was screaming--DON'T CUT ME SHORT. FIND ME!

I am going to enjoy this stage because I know when I hit about 30,000 words, I will start the next stage. Hating my current WIP; wondering if I will ever get anywhere on it; and considering tossing the whole thing. So for now, here's to the love of a new project.

What are you working on? Nearing a finished rough draft? Revisions (Yuck)? Querying (and if you are, you should also be writing something new :)? What's up for you?

The speed of things

2011-08-12T07:00:00.001-07:00

*Me at the computer. Old house, old hair, but you get the point*

I've read several blog posts about speed in writing lately. Authors have been answering the question How fast do you write?

My critique partner can crank out 3,500 on a great day.
Jolene Perry said she once wrote a book in a week but felt hungover.
If I remember right, Kiersten White wrote her last book in nine days.

Dang girls! I'm just not that fast! I usually write about 1,000-1,500 words in a day. Some days (many days) I don't write at all. Then there's the occasional hubby-took-the-kids-out-for-the-day when I write two or three thousand and feel amazing.

I was feeling down about my slowness, but there's no need to. Even if I took weekends off, I could still write a rough draft in three months. And that's not bad. Then, with revisions, I could probably pump out two books a year. For some writers (ahem, Bonnie) two novels a year would be an epic fail. But to others, that would be a fantastic accomplishment.

And you know what? Whatever your speed, it's okay. Consistency is what matters. And I am working on that one too.

I am also a slow runner. My miles are about twelve minutes while my friends do ten minute miles. But did you know we're both burning the same calories? Did you know we're both reaching the finish line?

So, don't stress about your speed. Find what's comfortable for you and push it a little (maybe just by a hundred or two hundred words). The point is, you know what you can do and still maintain balance in your life.

What is a word count for a typical day for you? Do you stress that you're too slow sometimes?

Beware of the Boat Launch Elitist

2011-08-10T09:54:00.002-07:00

I don't have a pic of his Boat Launch Eliteness in action, so here's a hot one of him in his wet suit ready to wakeboard.

My husband is a pretty humble guy, but whenever he begins backing our boat trailer down that concrete ramp he morphs into The Boat Launch Elitist.

Getting a vessel off a trailer and into the lake is something he has mastered, and all non-masters annoy the crap out of him. If people don't know how to back their trailer up straight (and let me be the first to say, this is not easy), he is frustrated. If people don't immediately move their boat to the end of the dock and allow for more boaters, he tends to mumble. If people do the illegal thingy where they power launch straight from the trailer, he considers giving them the finger (of course he never would, he was an Eagle Scout for goodness sakes!). All in all, few boat launchers can measure up to The Elitist's standards.

In addition to the boat launching venue, I have found Elitists in other fields as well. The worst being photography. Over the past several years I had a portrait photography business. I was trained in photography in college and as a news reporter. However, because SLRs (read: fancy cameras) are now getting more and more affordable, new photographers are popping up left and right. And the old-school folk DO NOT LIKE IT! I've never seen a world where professionals bash and put each other down so much. It is dog-eat-dog and, honestly it is very, very sad. Instead of showing their worth as a photographer by taking amazing pictures, they attempt to show their worth as a photographer by writing lengthy blog posts about their competition, by bashing newbies on forums, and most of all by forgetting they were once new too.

What's the point of all this Elitist talk? Let me tell you. I AM NOT FINDING THIS IN THE WRITING WORLD! It is so refreshing to have a blog community of newbies and oldies (in age and writing time, haha) who are kind and encouraging. I wrote my first novel with no knowledge of the wealth of writerly advice out there online. Can you believe I didn't even have the Internet? But when I came online about two years ago at my publisher's insistence, I found a supportive, wonderful group of friends.

Thank you writerly folk. Thank you for being helpful to us newbies. Thank you for not treating us like you're so much wiser, smarter and better EVEN when we know you are. I hope I can be just as encouraging to those just finding the writing path.

As for you boaters out there, clear the launch, we're coming through.

Are there some areas where you tend to think you know it all and are annoyed by others? Have you found the writing world to be supportive and encouraging of new talent?

Happiness is...

2011-08-08T06:19:00.000-07:00

Happiness is...

~Being re-motivated. Every time I have a breakfast meeting with my critique partner, I feel like running home and writing all day long. She is such a wonderful motivator.

~A sister who will drop everything for you. I needed an uber clean house at the last moment, and my sister offered to come help. She even brought her vacuum, and let me just say when I hit it big, I will definitely be buying a Dyson.

~A full calendar. We have one month left until school starts, and we have lots of fun planned.

~Going school shopping--for FREE! Our church organized a huge clothing exchange. I dropped off my old stuff and picked up a bunch of school clothes for the kids.

~Waking up early and enjoying a little peace and quiet.

What is your happiness today?

How do you say it in your neck of the woods?

2011-08-03T05:38:00.000-07:00

~Do you drink soda or a pop?
~Do you sit on the couch, the sofa, or maybe even the Davenport?
~Do you put your insurance card in the glove box, the glove compartment, or the jockey box?
~Do you go snowmobiling, snow machining or out on sleds (and if you live in Wyoming you know I don't mean sleds as in the little things with runners, I mean actual motorized snow mobiles)?
~When the roads are slick, do you spin cookies, donuts, or brodies?

Depending upon where you live--or in my case, where I grew up--you say things in your very own way.

I drink pop. Never soda.
I sit on the couch. I use the glove box. I go snowmobiling or sledding, but not snow machining.
I only spin cookies, and when my husband says he's been spinning brodies, I look at him like he's an idiot. What the heck is a brodie? Only us Wyomingites know the proper way to describe the Friday-night-not-a-care-in-the-world-spinning-of-a-big-beefy-truck-phenomenon. Washingtonians don't have a clue.

Are you with me here? And do you ever think about this in your writing? I think you should. I'm not saying you need to use overly annoying cajun speak that your readers can't even understand, but I think you should try to be familiar with some of those terms the "locals" would use in your setting.

In my novel, Growing Up Gracie, Gracie and Quentin spend a lot of time "mudding" on back roads. My husband would certainly call this "four-bying," (but hey, he can write his own book if he wants to! hehe).

So, how do they say it in your neck of the woods? Use my examples or your own.

August 1 Check In

2011-08-01T07:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, are you getting sick of these check ins yet?

I am.

The whole point of my monthly check ins was so that we could have early detection if we were falling off course from our 2011 New Year's Resolutions.

So, overall, how have you done?

I feel good about two of my accomplishments:
-I got to my goal weight. Yahoo! I have four more pounds to my oh-ya-baby weight. And that's my weight plan for the rest of the year.
-I finished Letters Never Sent and submitted it. I'm still just waiting for any news.

And not-so-good about two:
-Long term savings. Hubby started school instead, so that goal is on a four-year hiatus.
-Work on rough draft of Danielle, Never the Bride. Still haven't touched it.

But, it's time to rework my goals. So, dun dun dun... Here are my goals for the rest of 2011:

1. Finish and submit co-author project (having a lot of fun with this!)
2. Finish and submit novella (rough draft is done)
3. Write a rough draft of Danielle, Never the Bride
4. Reach my oh-ya-baby weight.

That's a tall order. But I can do it!

How are your resolutions going? Do you need a mid-year goal change too?

That post where I compare Mommyhood with Writer-hood (oh wait, that's every post)

2011-07-29T08:58:00.001-07:00

I was the supremo annoying first-time mom. Let me give you a look into that world:

*I literally bawled through ten months of breastfeeding (it never stop hurting) because I had the notion that if you don't breastfeed, you're a bad mom.
*I took my two-week-old to the library to watch puppet shows.
*I had my one-year-old pick out her flavor of birthday cake and help mommy make it.
*I started doing arts and crafts with my baby when she couldn't even yet sit up.
*I read every parenting book I could get my hands on.
*I had a set of RULES I would never break as a Mom, and I planned to stick to them.
*I went to the doctor for every sneeze and bump.

Now, let's compare that with my eight-year-later-self as a mother:
*Babies three and four never had a drop of breast milk. I learned a happy and not-hurting mom is more important. And guess what? They were HEALTHY!
*We still go to the library, but never with a newborn.
*A one-year-old pick out her birthday cake? Ya, that would require me to take four children to the grocery store, and that isn't happening! Whatever flavor we have in the cupboard is good enough.
*Baby number four is a year and a half, and he has yet to finger paint.
*I haven't seen a parenting book in years (except for one exception I read often Bringing Up Girls because my household is largely estrogen overridden).
*Most of the things I thought I'd never do as a Mom (such as let the TV babysit on a stressful day, or pick a pacifier up off the ground and, gasp, not sanitize it before popping it back in a baby's mouth) have long fallen to the wayside.
*Besides well-child checks and shots, we seriously barely ever go to the doctor. I'm a believer that rest and lots of fluids heal most things.

There was nothing wrong with the first-time mommy I was, I've just changed as I've become more experienced. In fact, the first-time mommy version of me could probably be considered more vigilant and less lazy. But the fourth-time mommy version of me is a more wizened version. I know what's important and I know when to let something slide. I cherish more of the big moments and fret less over the small stuff.

But without that first-time mommyhood, I would have never progressed to where I am now as a mother.

Now (finally) here is the writing analogy. Thinking back to the first-time writer version of me, have I also changed? Absolutely! Can you imagine that when I wrote my first full-length novel, I didn't even have the Internet? I never considered critique partners and writing forums and blogs (oh the blogs...).

Still though, I had to be that newbie before I could get where I am now. And in ten more years, I hope I can look back and say "wow, I have come a long way."

Share the funny things you did when you were a first-time mom or a first-time writer. Have you changed?

A Poll for my LDS readers

2011-07-28T07:39:00.001-07:00

If you've been Mormon long, you know we have lots of terms that can be baffling to the non-Mormon population.

For instance, what in the world is a Mia Maid?
What does PEC stand for?
And does a fireside really involve fire?

My critique partner and I are working on a special project, and I'd love for you to leave any Mormon Terms that Mystify in my comment box. These are the words that might have been confusing to you when you first became a member.

It would help us out greatly! Thanks.

What WASN'T on your list today?

2011-07-25T13:29:00.000-07:00

If you're a mom and a writer (which I think most of my viewers are), you probably have lists.

Here are a few lists I can see from where I sit right now:
*one on the fridge detailing today's caloric intake (it's a weight loss year, people)
*one on the counter with the EXTRA chores my children "earned" last night from some naughtiness
*one listing the homes we want to look inside (we'll be moving this fall)
*and the dreaded To-Do List

If you're like me, your to-do list is usually longer than your to-do energy on any given day. I often look at my list at the end of the day and wonder where all the time went. Sometimes I'm lucky to have a few of the items crossed off at all.

A few months back, I saw a post from a mommy writer about all the things that she DIDN'T put on her daily list yet still had to accomplish. These are the little moments that are life's necessities. It made the blogger feel better about what she had accomplished.

So, here's what wasn't on my list today:
-make breakfast (three different ones for picky kids)
-share my shower for the third day in a row with my little girl
-change diapers
-help kids complete their chores (I don't do them for them, just help them see what they missed)
-sweep floors
-help decorate a room
-encourage a friend
-call my sister
-schedule some upcoming plans
-write a blog post
-do four heads of hair

And it's only 1:30.

Mommy writers ARE busy, and I hope you realize that any single task you can cross off today's list is an accomplishment. Do your best. Ask for God's help. And everything will work out okay.

What WASN'T on your list today, but it took up your time anyway?

What's in your in-box?

2011-07-22T12:46:00.000-07:00

What's in your email in-box today?

Anything good?

I have my husband's Evogear.com sales (wakeboard stuff); my husband's wakeworld.com alerts (more wakeboard stuff). There's my daily scripture reminder that I am now 47 days behind my scheduled reading program. Oops. There's the kids bowl free coupons. There's a few church emails--who needs help moving today etc. And that's about it.

What do I want in my in-box? Any of these three choices would work:

1. Dear Maggie, I'd like to offer you representation. Signed, Awesome Agent
2. Dear Maggie, I would love to publish your novel. Signed, Awesome Publisher
3. Dear Maggie, Your home loan is approved and your interest rate will be 0.5% (haha). Signed Awesome Loan People

I've been checking email non-stop for these messages. So far, it's a no go.

What do you obsessively check email for? But what are you FAR MORE LIKELY to receive in your in-box?

AND P.S. Deborah gave Growing Up Gracie a great review over on her blog. Check it out!

Dear Ann M. Martin

2011-07-21T06:38:00.001-07:00

I'm not much into fan mail, but in Ann M. Martin's case, I would make an exception. Talk about prolific writers, this author of the famous Baby-Sitters Club series has written hundreds of titles (between several different series) and continually releases books that cross the boundaries of the generations.

My eight-year-old is reading the same titles I read twenty years ago--and she doesn't even seem to notice the totally nineties covers.

Although Ms. Martin has a great website through Scholastic as well as a Facebook fan page, I haven't been able to find a fan mail email address. So, in case Ms. Martin has a Google Alert on her name, which of course she doesn't, (I mean with THAT many fans, and THAT many years as a hugely successful author, how could she get bogged down in the mundane?) here is our fan letter to her.

Dear Ms. Martin,

I firmly believe my daughter is your biggest fan.

She has read close to one-hundred of your books, many of which she reads over and over again. She owns most of these books and goes to the local thrift store monthly to search for more of your titles.

Yesterday she had a Baby-Sitters Club birthday party. We luckily found an old copy of the BSC postcard book, which worked perfectly for invitations.

She and her friends made "kid kits," picked BSC officers, took phone calls from parents who wanted their kids babysat (pretend ones of course), and practiced on her own younger brothers and sisters.

They ate a BSC cake, and even had a guest speaker! I bet you didn't know you were coming to teach eight-year-olds the ins and outs of babysitting as well as a little bit about yourself did you? (Grandma made a great Ann M. Martin.)

Anyway, I just wanted you to know you have a major fan in my household. Thank you for writing such amazing books. Thank you for having such a cool internet presence where my daughter can find out lots about you and the BSC on Scholastic's site.

P.S. if you happen to read this, my daughter would love a little shout out in the comments. Her name is Gracie. Just sayin'...

Sincerely,
Maggie Fechner

NOW YOUR TURN. Have you ever written a piece of fan mail? If you got up the guts to do it, WHO would you write to?

Paper Submissions

2011-07-19T08:38:00.000-07:00

I love the modern conveniences of today's Internet era. Hitting the send button on a query or manuscript is so easy--not to mention cheap.

However, for me, there is something a little more exhilarating about sending in a paper submission. The feeling that my words are out there in hard copy gets me every time.

This is a picture of me submitting a recent novel to my publisher via snail mail. And today I will be submitting another book proposal. This is a non-fiction LDS idea that my critique partner and I have been working on.

Today she will take it to the post office and send it on its merry way.

Wish our submission good luck!

Have you ever submitted in paper form? Did it feel any different to you than a electronic version?

Time Ticking Away From Me

2011-07-17T20:23:00.000-07:00

I honestly believe no one can procrastinate with such fervor as I. When it's time for something to get done, I can usually find 7,439 ways to avoid it.

So, in an effort to improve on this habit, I am trying something new. I'm writing my Monday morning blog post tonight, with the hope that when I get up in the morning I will be able to delve STRAIGHT into my real writing. No time-wasting on blogging, facebook, or email. Nope, not tomorrow. My 1.5-2 hours of writing time will be non-interrupted.

Here's hoping at least.

How do you keep your writing time from ticking away from you? Do you limit yourself on email/blogging/facebook time?

You MUST read this!

2011-07-13T09:12:00.001-07:00

I love critique partners. Mine, Bonnie Paulson, is amazing and her feedback is always encouraging and helpful. She keeps me on track with writing goals.

I have also done crits with other LDS authors (Kaylee and Melanie) who have done SO much to help improve my novels, and for those I am incredibly grateful. Beta readers are another tool I ALWAYS use before submitting a book.

HOWEVER, I also feel there are times when critiquing can be stifling to a writer's creativity.

I recently read this post called Death By Critique, and the author hit the nail on the head for me.

Read it and then hop on back here and tell me what you think.

Have you ever felt a Death By Critique on a novel? Do you feel critiques ever do more harm than good to a writer's creativity?

Wait a minute, agents make mistakes too?

2011-07-11T08:20:00.001-07:00

In the querying process, I've made a couple mistakes that make me cringe. I've been working hard to "personalize" each query, and so, of course I've been researching each agent I send to. Despite all my research though, I've still made a few errors that I felt horrible about.

I accidentally told one agent how much I loved a book she repped. I did really love the book, but her firm didn't rep it (I just forgot to erase that line from the previous query). And, in another instance, I sent an identical query twice in a few hours to one agent (once from each email account).

In my mind, agents are these God-like creatures floating in the sky that I am simply begging to PLEASE, OH PLEASE, LIKE ME. So any mistakes from us humanly folks makes me feel low. Lower than low.

But today when I opened my inbox, I was really happy to see another rejection. Yeah right, that didn't come out right. What I meant to say was, the rejection I received this morning was a mistake on an agent's part, and THAT made me smile.

You see, this agent already rejected me a few days ago. Today's rejection was ANOTHER copy of the exact same rejection--nothing like twisting the knife into the writer's gut huh? It was a simple mistake, and one without any major consequences, but it just made me realize that agents are also human.

Yes, we MUST strive for perfection in our queries. But remember we all make mistakes. Next time you address a Mr. as Ms. or something similar, don't make a suicide plan. It happens, and it's okay.

What mistakes have you made when querying? Or what mistakes has an agent made on you (besides not picking you up for representation of course)?

Adding reading to your writing goals

2011-07-07T07:49:00.000-07:00

Most writers are goal oriented people. Hit 50K by next month; finish revisions by Christmas; get an agent by 2013--you get the picture. But we often fail to add one of the most important aspects of being a writer to our goals: being a reader.

The number one lesson I remember from college is if you want to be a writer, you must be a reader.

Reading will improve your writing, increase your creativity, and even give you new ideas. We should read books in our genre to get a real feel for it. We should read how-to books on writing. We should read best-sellers to know what the market is enjoying. We should read friends' recently-published novels to show our support. And we should also read for fun.

However when you're immersed in writing, reading, like doing dishes and shaving your legs, can easily get pushed aside. This can't happen! One way to avoid this is to add reading to your goal list.

My current goal list has these in it:
*Read 100 Years of Solitude, Fall On Your Knees and Cutting for Stone by August 1. These are big-name family sagas (which I write).
*Read another writing technique book by September 1.

So far I've finished 100 Years of Solitude and Fall On Your Knees which are huge, fat family sagas. I've gained a greater appreciation for my genre, and I've also gotten new story ideas from them.

Have you added reading to your goal list? Will you?

A little bit of my WIP

2011-07-05T09:58:00.000-07:00

I never ever post writing on my blog. Weird, huh, since this is um a writing blog.

I guess it's because I think reading novels on a computer screen is annoying. But recently I followed the Loving The Language Blogfest and enjoyed reading some bits and pieces of other people's books. So, today I'm going to post a few short passages from Letters Never Sent for fun.

It's a family saga about the women of the Ritchie family. Here are four five-sentences blurbs from the book:

So many years removed her from it, but when Ruth allowed herself to slip back to that hurt—the hurt that never really left her—she could still hear those sounds. She smelled the blood and the antiseptic clean smell of the Lawton General Hospital maternity wing. She saw the bed and the door and that little waiting room with its orange chair. And it nearly made her sick.

As he and the doctor neared the house, Ailsa’s voice ripped from its walls. The sound pierced through the evening air a block away.
That scream started at the tip of Ailsa’s head and burrowed deep into her soul like an auger drilling through a long frozen lake. The moment was cold and black and nothing she’d ever experienced prepared her for it. The rest of the world stopped spinning, and over Ailsa’s own voice, she didn’t hear James vomiting on the front porch.

Famie sprinted toward the back fence, and as she passed the snow-disguised bird bath, her front foot slipped and she arched back hard, clearing a ribbon of green as she slid. In slow motion her foot left the ground and rose up in front of her until her body took on the shape of the horizon. Time stood still while Ruthie wondered if her mother might never come down. If she might keep rising into the white and never even glance back to wave goodbye. If she would disappear into wherever her husbands resided, and a Heavenly train might carry the three of them to the World’s Fair where they’d pay for the parachute ride and visit the Futurama Display and never consider Ruthie at all.

Or maybe it was the final accumulation of the years they’d spent together—him loving her and her constantly pushing him away. Either way, this time Michael didn’t resist her.
The sweet smell of warm hay rose up around them, and the rain pattered on the tin roof so ferociously, the thunder was barely audible when it cracked.
One of them was in love. And that night it was enough for both of them.

How do you feel about posting writing on blogs? Do you ever read other's writing? And, of course, did my blurbs grab you at all?

July Goal Check In

2011-07-01T12:36:00.000-07:00

Okay, quite often when I am headed to a social function, I remind myself: Maggie, don't talk too much. It's not that I'm an extrovert, just when I get nervous, I feel like I have to fill the silence with meaningless babble.

And here I am on my blog, talking too much. I've posted most days this week, but it's just because it seems like I've had a lot to say.

Anywho, July 1 is here. Yep, the year is half way done. How are you doing on your Resolutions? Here's my run-down.

1. Revise Letters Never Sent and submit it to agents/publisher.
****Finished round 4,982.3 of revisions. Have begun querying agents, and am waiting feedback from one crit partner. Then I will resubmit. Woohoo!

2. Finish a rough draft of Danielle, Never The Bride.
****Last month this had grown cobwebs. Now those cobwebs are growing mold. So yes, still no progress here.

3. See a weight on the scale I haven't seen in a few years.
****Yahoo. Running (I'm up to four miles) and diet have been going well. I have half a pound to go! Yes, I'm on the slow track, I realize this. But all in all, I've lost thirteen pounds in 2011. I have half a pound to my original goal and five pounds to my dream weight goal. I think slow and steady is going to be good in the long run.

4. Get going on long-term savings.
****Nothing has changed here. But, on the bright side of things, my first royalties from Growing Up Gracie came in and instead of using the money, I promptly created a MAGGIE-WILL-GO-TO-STORYMAKERS-2012 account.

Feels like a pretty good month. Six more months to go!

How are you doing on your works in progress? I know lots of ladies were planning to finish in mid August. Are you on track?

The Queerness of Querying

2011-06-30T08:17:00.000-07:00

Sure, queerness probably isn't a word, but we're going with it anyway.

Short post here, just looking for your opinions. I'm querying right now and quickly finding out that this quirky business can be quite quit-inducing. Did you ever see a sentence with more qu words? Just kidding. What I'm saying is querying is a tough part of the writing world. So grab one of these questions if you can and give me your advice.

1. How do you personalize a query?
2. Do you keep a chart or something to keep track of when you queried who?
3. How do you keep your chin up after a few/a lot of rejections?
4. How do you pick which agents you will query?
5. How often do you get requests for more of your manuscript? Does this usually turn out positive for you or negative?
6. Do you query the same agent with more than one manuscript? Or once they give you a "no" do you leave them alone.
7. Do you have a number of rejections you draw the line at and decide to shelve a book, or do you keep revising and searching for more agents.
8. Do you ever query the few mainstream publishers that don't require an agent? Which ones?
9. Does the querying process make you feel like you never had any talent to begin with and what the heck were you thinking? (You know, hypothetically. Just asking :))
10. If you could start your first querying process all over again, what would you change?

Mommy Milestones That Are Making Me Happy

2011-06-29T14:00:00.000-07:00

(These aren't really my kids, mine are older, for the most part)

Here are a few Mommy Milestones (or really Kid Milestones, I guess, but that doesn't sound as cool) my family has hit lately. I'm loving it!

1. Three out of four kids buckling their own seat belts.
2. Never buying formula again.
3. Finally "getting" the concept of Quiet Time.
4. Three out of four are old enough to bathe and brush their own teeth without my constant supervision.
5. Chore charts running smoothly.
6. No nose pickers (at the moment).
7. Kids are starting to help with the care of our dog.
8. They're being friends with one another about one-third of the time--I'll take one-third--THIS IS HUGE!!
9. Have learned to pray on their own and even remind Mom and Dad when we forget.
10. We are only four years away from having an in-house babysitter (when oldest is 12).

Don't say, "don't wish this time away." Because I'm not. I'm thoroughly enjoying it, especially when we hit these little milestones that seem to make life a bit easier.

Has your family hit any enjoyable Mommy Milestones lately?

Jumping In

2011-06-27T15:34:00.001-07:00

(Yes, this photo is actually me)

Have you ever waited for the perfect moment?

I have.

In fact, lately I've been waiting for the perfect wakeboarding moment. I enjoy learning to wakeboard, but I only get one or two tries in each summer because I wait for the perfect moment. For me, the perfect moment looks like this: only adults on the boat, 100 degree day and 75 degree water, and I look graceful and talented and skinny out there. Sounds easy enough, right? Wrong. In reality, the combination of all of those events to get me out on the board would be a near-miracle.

What have you waited around for? Maybe it was when you were considering having your first child. Did you have a set of pre-requisites such as: owning a home, losing weight, having $10,000 in a savings account, or reading lots of books on pregnancy and child rearing?

For others, the goal may be going back to college. But wouldn't it be easier if you waited until the kids were in school, or maybe even when they were out of the house, or when the car was paid off?

Often when we have a goal or dream in our minds, we wait. We wait. Wait. Wait. Waiting for that perfect moment to come when life is stress-free (like when there are no children requiring my attention on the boat) and we can jump in to a new endeavor. But you know what? Life really is never stress-free. And often, the perfect moment never comes along.

When one debt is paid another crops up, when kids are in school you may find yourself uber-involved in PTA and soccer team, retirement may find you in poor health or nursing a sick spouse. There will always be things to take up your time and money.

So what must we do to accomplish the goals and dreams that are on our minds? JUMP IN.

Of course, when considering something major, I believe you should always pray about it first, but if the answer is "yes," move forward with the confidence that even if money or time seem sparse, Heavenly Father will provide a way.

I can't count how many people who have told me that they will write a book when they retire or when their kids are in school. And I hope they do, but there is no better moment than the one we're in right now. You simply must, JUMP IN.

Start writing now. Call the college and set up those entrance exams now. Get pregnant now (just kidding there, you better have a good long chat with your spouse first). Go on a run now. Plan a vacation now. Learn to paint now. Jump in.

So, this weekend, I jumped in. Was the moment ideal? Of course not! All four of our children were present and a friend watched them on the beach. The air temperature was 64 with a major breeze, and the water temperature was 54. Yes--Holy crap that's cold! I didn't look graceful or skinny or anything of the sort. Instead I wore a 1990s look-at-me wetsuit, and I jumped in. And this is how I felt:

Sure, I took a lot of spills on my way:

But you know what? I got up, and it felt gooooood. I did my best and look forward to the next time I can jump in.

How have you JUMPED IN lately? Or what goals have you been waiting to tackle?

And this too...

2011-06-22T12:56:00.000-07:00

I just noticed Mormon Mommy Writers posted an interview with me. Yes, they posted it like two weeks ago, but here it is:

http://mormonmommywriters.blogspot.com/2011/06/saturday-stories-maggie-fechner.html

Weird Wednesday

2011-06-22T05:41:00.001-07:00

Nope. This picture has nothing to do with anything. My blog just hasn't had a photo on it in awhile and this one makes me happy.

Here are some questions about Mommyhood and Writerhood and a few about neither (that have been on my mind).

1. If a kid doesn't want to ride a bike--I mean, really doesn't want to--do you force them to any way? Is it un-American or un-childhoodish to just never learn to ride a bike?

2. Can you get so immersed in one writing project that it kills your drive/creativity/desire? When do you just say enough is enough?

3. Do you have any special tricks to remember the difference between waist and waste? Seriously, this causes some awkward sentences if spelled wrong. "He slid his arms around her waste." Ewwwwwe.

4. How do you get a child to stop sucking their thumb or fingers? Bribery? Threatening? Nasty-tasting-junk-on-thumb? Wait it out?

5. Am I the only one who doesn't get the Michael Buble thing? Is he all jazz? Because I seriously hate jazz, and so far I haven't heard anything from Buble that makes me swoon like the rest of the female population.

6.Do you love camping and vacation? Or do you build yourself up for it and then get there and think what was I thinking? This is hard work with kids!

7. Did you see Kiersten White just wrote a novel in nine days? If you check out her blog post from yesterday, you will see what I'm talking about. She is a mom and a wife too. Holy Moses how is that possible? I've been starring at the same darn thing for over a year!

8. What's the funniest thing your kid has said lately? I asked my seven year old if she liked a particular new boy in her class and this was her response: "Well mom, he's a fine student, but my worst enemy."

9. What food do you stinking crave but try not to eat because it isn't healthy? For me, the answer would be: Reeses Puffs cereal; Reeses peanut butter cups; peanut butter bars. Hmmm. I'm seeing a peanut butter/chocolate theme here.

10. Are you an optimist or pessimist? And has this changed as you've aged? I'm so sad to admit, I think I've slowly slid from an optimist to a pessimist over the past few years. I think I was tainted by a few hard years when everything seemed to go wrong. I wonder if a year of everything going right would reverse me again? (I know, I know, I can't wait around for something like that.)

Go ahead, tackle one of these babies or all of them. I'd love your opinions.

One Hundred Years of Solitude

2011-06-20T06:31:00.000-07:00

One of my 2011 goals is to read four of the most successful family saga novels out there. I really want to understand this genre that I love and hope to make a career out of.

I started with One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Marquez was a Nobel Prize winner, and this novel is considered his masterpiece.

Here is the review the New York Times Book Review gave his novel back in the 1950s: "One Hundred Years of Solitude is the first piece of literature since the Book of Genesis that should be required reading for the entire human race... Mr. Garcia Marquez has done nothing less than to create in the reader a sense of all that is profound, meaningful, and meaningless in life."

Can you imagine? How would that feel to have your writing compared to the Bible? "Required reading for the entire human race?" Come on!

The novel follows the Buendia family and their founding of the fictional town of Macondo. There are five generations in the story, and almost all of the characters share five names: Jose Arcadio and Aureliano for boys, and Ursula, Remedios and Amaranta for girls.

This book is a doozie of a read. We're talking 400 plus pages of very small print and very, very little dialogue. Sentences stretch on and on (the longest one I came across was close to three pages long!) Sometimes the wording was so confusing I had to re-read a section several times to understand what in the world he was talking about. And for Garcia Marquez, themes seem to be far more important than plot.

With all that being said, I loved One Hundred Years of Solitude. I loved the beautiful language he used. I loved following this family through their triumphs (which came few and far between) and their struggles (which seemed very frequent). I loved Garcia Marquez's theme that nothing much new ever happens--the world and families are cyclical and the same things happen over and over again.

Another aspect I loved was the author's "magical realism." The reader could get quite far into the book thinking all the events were realistic and could actually occur; however, then the author throws in fantastical events such as a character's being carried away into the sky by her laundry, and the reader starts to think, huh? How could that happen? Eventually such odd situations as the family's patriarch being tied to a tree for like twenty years and women living well beyond a hundred years grow more and more frequent in the book.

I read the Goodreads reviews on this book and many people hated it despite it being one of the top sellers of all time. Readers claimed it made them "feel high" or wonder what in the heck was happening. There were definitely moments like that, and I admit I got lost in the countless wars that one of the Aurelianos encounters. There were also way more instances of incest than I was comfortable with.

Overall though, the Buendia family sucked me in.

And I realized family saga is still my favorite genre.

The other famous family sagas I plan to read this year are Fall On Your Knees, Cutting for Stone and The Thorn Birds.

Have you read One Hundred Years of Solitude or any of the other family sagas I've listed? What did you think of these books or the genre in general?

UPDATEUPDATEUPDATE

2011-06-16T23:26:00.000-07:00

11:26 p.m. I completed the goal (see below)!

(And with 34 minutes to spare.)

Aaaaggghhh. Why do we do this to ourselves?

Goodnight.

Brain. Becoming. Jello.

2011-06-15T15:35:00.000-07:00

I'm trying so hard to hit a revisions goal I've been working on for the past month.

By tomorrow night I need to have all of my individual chapters revised, and then I will print the book and read it as a whole to make sure I've remedied all of its issues.

My brain is seriously aching, but I feel the progress I've made over the past month has been a major step in the right direction.

Wish me luck stumbling through Revision Purgatory.

Any other revisers out there? How do you keep your creative side in tact while tackling the mundane of editing?

Quick Question Tuesday

2011-06-14T06:49:00.000-07:00

What's your opinion on this grammar topic?

Is Passive Voice Ever Okay?

Some editors claim passive voice is akin to anthrax. Some authors, however, use it in almost every sentence (including some best selling novelists).

I've cut hundreds of instances of passive voice in my current work in progress, but I've also left many alone. In many cases, I feel it just sounds better to use "was" than turn the sentence around so that all the focus is on some object in a way it wasn't intended to be. I think bumbling up the flow of a book, just to appease the grammar gods, is silly.

What do you think?

A Plug

2011-06-10T08:49:00.000-07:00

I haven't talked about my book on my blog in a super long time, and since I don't have a witty post in mind, here it is.

Growing Up Gracie is a Young Adult novel with LDS themes. It's the story of Gracie Fremont, a young girl sandwiched in a big Mormon family in, where else??, Cody Wyoming.

My favorite thing so far about having my book out there has been the reviews. Goodreads has been so kind to me lately. At first the 5 Star reviews were wonderful, but several of them were written by folks I know. The ones that have meant the most have been the 3 and 4 star ratings and comments by strangers.

They're saying they related to Gracie and her trials, and that touches me. I especially love when teen girls enjoyed the book. Read the reviews here. And by the way, if you are someone who left me a review, thank you!

Pick up a copy anywhere in Utah; and for the rest of us non-Utahans (I don't think that's the word??) order my book at Barnes and Noble or Amazon. Spokanites/Spokanians (I'm not in my best form today) can find the book at Aunties and The Brass Plates bookstores. Codyites can find it at The Thistle.

Thanks for reading it. I'd love to hear what you thought.

Blog Commenting Etiquette

2011-06-08T08:59:00.000-07:00

I'm not one to rant, but when I opened my blog today and saw a re-post of a strange comment I deleted yesterday, I figured it might be time for a post on proper blog commenting etiquette.

Maggie's Rules:
1. Never comment on a post you haven't read. Now, some of my favorite bloggers tend to write loooooooong posts. If I don't feel I have the time to dedicate to reading the post, I will skip it, and of course, not comment. It's tempting to read the first paragraph and then make a generic comment (and I will admit I have done this in the beginning of my foray into blogging) but DON'T. I am not that good at being sneaky, and I doubt you are either.

2. Never comment with self-promotion in mind. Here are some of my not-so-favorite comments: "I agree. If you hop over to my blog you will see that...." or "Interesting. I recently released a book and would love for you to read it." or the shameless begging "Please come follow my blog. I'm building my platform."
I'm not naive. I understand that when we comment on blogs, we hope to gain our own new readers, but that doesn't mean we should be blatantly self-serving. Take a genuine interest in the blogs you comment on, and you may find a friend in addition to a new "follower".

3. Never copy and paste a comment in many, many people's blogs. Really--should I even need to say this? If you have mass information to get out there post it on your own blog; post it on Facebook; post it on a writing forum; Tweet it; whatever, but don't post it in someone's comments (especially two days in a row).

4. If you disagree with a post, comment! (But be nice). I've never had a problem with this as I tend to avoid conflict at all costs, and my posts are fairly non-controversial. But I've seen many blogs where readers use the comment bar as a cyber-knock-down-drag out. Classy? No way.

To not be overly mean and embarrass the aforementioned commenter with this post, I will be deleting the offending comment again. I am confident the blogger wasn't being downright rude, just still learning the blogging etiquette ropes. Heaven knows I made lots of etiquette faux pas when I started blogging.

So, now please don't be AFRAID to post comments on my blog. I promise not to be overly critical, and I'm actually a very friendly gal (who LOVES comments). Do you have any blog commenting etiquette rules you can add to mylist?

The Art of War for Writers

2011-06-06T21:41:00.000-07:00

This tiny book offers a giant punch! The Art of War for Writers by James Scott Bell was fantastic. Please, please, please go buy this book. It is motivating, inspiring and oh so informative.

After devouring this book, I sat down with my current WIP and took a second (or more like a twenty-second) look at some issues I was having. The advice Bell offered in this book was so helpful to my novel as well as to me as a writer in general. Here were a few of my favorite topics he covered:

*Making yourself accountable for a word quota every week.
*Understanding whining isn't winning.
*Using a writer's notebook to keep track of progress.
*Not stressing about your competition.
*Write faster (on your rough draft) and think less.
*Determine the very worst that your characters could go through.
*SPEED is paramount in your opening. GRAB 'EM! (boy, do I need to re-hash this lesson over and over and over again).
*Resisting the urge to explain everything.
*Determine if each scene is weak or strong. Cut or improve the weak scenes and elevate the strong scenes to greatness.
*Be specific and deliberate in your goal making.
*Never let promotion interfere with your writing.

Have you read any fantastic writing advice lately? I'd love to hear it.

31 Things You Don't Know About Me

2011-06-05T14:39:00.000-07:00

Sure most of you who visit this blog are writers and maybe mommies. But there is so much more to us than that. Right?

So, I'm 31 years old, so here are 31 things you might not know about me. Leave a comment with some things I don't know about you!

1. I share my birthday with Earth Day.
2. I love to bake but rarely do because I will eat EVERYTHING I bake.
3. You know that hangy thing in your throat (uvula)? Well, mine is forked (so I have two) and this freaks Dr.'s out every time they look in there.
4. All-time favorite song: "That Summer" by Garth Brooks
5. I've been in a hot air balloon, Air Force Refueling Plane, skydiving, and a race car (and got paid to do ALL of these things for work--I was a journalist).
6. I am really allergic to horses, but I enjoy riding.
7. My whole name is Maggie--NOT Margaret!
8. My great-great grandpa was a polygamist with 5 wives and 30-some kids.
9. I was senior class president in high school (I know, I know, whoop-dee-doo).
10. My house is often only clean from one quick-someone's-coming-over to the next quick-someone's-coming-over.
11. My two thumbs don't match up at all.
12. I am the oldest of three.
13. I've been bear hunting but got scared and didn't shoot the bear.
14. I was one of those super annoying parents of my first child who read all the parenting books and tried to do everything by the book. I took my two week old to a puppet show for her to become more "social" for goodness sakes!
15. My favorite shows over the years have been My So Called Life (remember Jared Leto?); ER; Prisonbreak; and my current favorites are: Parenthood, The Voice, and Modern Family.
16. I rarely nap and get grouchy when my husband does (I'm ashamed of this, since he really deserves a nap, but somehow it bugs me).
17. Dan and I weren't even dating when we got engaged.
18. I write from 5:00-7:00 a.m.
19. I hope to live in the country some day.
20. I like throwing watermelon and pumpkins off bridges.
21. I have three colors of laundry piles: darks, whites, pinks (female household here).
22. I love those Christmas time white-chocolate Oreos.
23. I enjoy boating but get really nervous with the kiddos on the boat.
24. I once stood on a fat bull snake in a doorway and didn't know it.
25. I was raised in the "Rodeo Capital of the World."
26. "Mahanna" from Johnny Lingo is in my stake.
27. The first record I owned was True Blue by Madonna and I loved it! The first CD--Criss Cross.
28. My pet peeve is loud clapping for no reason.
29. I often spell maybe this way: "mabey." Weird.
30. I bussed Karim Abdul Jabar's table when I was 14. (And I met him and got his autograph).
31. I love my family and friends more than anything!

Your turn. Okay, I want at least one fact about you for every decade old you are! SHARE, SHARE, SHARE.

June CHECK IN

2011-06-02T06:53:00.001-07:00

Oh dear, it appears we missed our May check up. Let's get down to business!

Here were my 2011 goals

1. Revise The Letters Never Sent and submit it to the publisher.
****Okay, well, this goal WAS complete. But my publisher asked for some revisions and gave me an option of resubmitting, so I've been hitting those hard for the past few weeks.

2. Finish a rough draft of Danielle, Never The Bride.
****Ya, this is growing cobwebs.

3. See a weight on the scale I haven't seen in a few years.
****After about six weeks of plateau, I lost two more pounds in May and I'm starting to really feel good. I pulled out my running shoes and am trying to get back in the habit of three runs a week. I have two pounds to my goal weight.

4. Get going on long-term savings.
****Nothing has changed here.

Where are you at? I want your stats!

Nothing like a little perspective

2011-05-31T10:48:00.000-07:00

Went for an amazing hike on this Memorial Day. Funny how getting up high can change your perspective and make you remember the important things.

For me here are my most important things: my wonderful husband and kids; my faith in God and knowledge that families can be forever; my extended family; my FRIENDS!! (and here are my very, very, very best ones!)

What's most important to you in the grand scheme of things?

Random Thoughts for Thursday

2011-05-26T14:53:00.000-07:00

*Do you think Stephanie Meyer had a critique partner for Twilight? And if so, did that partner come to her with her tongue wagging saying "Steph, this is going to go big. I suggest you set up some off-shore bank accounts."
(I know, I know, I could probably find the answer to this question online, but I really don't care that much.)

*Does it seem like most female main characters these days are similar brooding types? They have bad tempers, anti-social tendencies, and average looks, yet hoards of guys flock after them? I wish I had known brattyness was the key in high school!

*And speaking of female main characters, what is with all the "Cat" ish names right now? Katniss? Katsa? Etc. I think my next MC will be Katly.

*Does anyone know what the End-Of-The-World-Is-May-21st-Guy said to the media on May 22nd? Or did he not even show his face?

A Mommy's Always Write Quiz

2011-05-23T12:58:00.000-07:00

And now we bring you a post of utmost importance! Please complete the following survey in the comment section below. (Yes, this may seem like it has nothing to do with being a Mommy or a Writer, but I assure you.... well, you're right.)

1. Smart Car or Suburban?

2. E Reader or E! Hollywood?

3. Fruit candy or chocolate?

4. Delivery or Homemade?

5. Pandora or real radio?

6. The Voice or Idol?

7. Summer or winter?

And the most important question of all time...
8. Twilight or Vampires Suck?

MY ANSWERS:
1. My Suburban eats Smart Cars for breakfast.
2. I don't have an Nook, Kindle or anything of the sorts, but I also don't think I've ever seen E!. I will go with e reader (because it's on my wish list).
3. Duh! Chocolate. Starburst, Red Vines, Skittles, these things don't even tempt me.
4. Delivery.
5. Pandora. However, they're starting to allow commercials, so it's getting a little less enticing now. Also, I've noticed Pandora's been not as good at reading my mind and knowing what music I want to hear lately. Still, I have to go for Pandora because I haven't heard any Dollar Rent A Car commercials on it yet.
6. The Voice! Lame intro song, but AWESOME show. Plus, Idol has just gone down hill with all the judge changes. And, if I must admit it, Christina Aguilera is about the most beautiful woman in the world. If modesty wasn't an issue for me, I would definitely want her boobs. :)
7. Summer!
8. Twilight. Although when I first read it, I kind of glanced around thinking, Really? This is what all this fuss is about? Vampires Suck was probably in the top five worst movies ever for me; however, the lead actress' version of Bella was pretty funny.

YOUR TURN!

Refilling The Well

2011-05-18T06:54:00.001-07:00

I was feeling a serious lack of creativity a few weeks ago and planned to take a big writing break over the summer.

Think of all I could accomplish! In reality, though, instead of accomplishing anything new, I'd probably just sleep in until 6:30 every day instead of hitting the computer at 5:00.

I decided to refill my well of creativity and desire to write. I bought four new writing books (two of which I had in college and sold back to the bookstore. aargghhh!) I also had a mini "writers conference" at Denny's with my critique partner.

What has this refilling of the well done? It made me change my mind about taking a break. Yep. I lasted a week.

I've since set some new goals--short and long term--and have dove into revisions on one of my novels.

IS YOUR WELL IN NEED OF REFILLING FROM TIME TO TIME? HOW DO YOU DO IT?

When is it time to shelve a novel?

2011-05-16T07:48:00.000-07:00

Those of you who have been around the writing blog world for any length of time have seen articles or comments like this one Will Your First Novel Be Published? by agent Rachelle Gardner.

The article talks about how, for most writers, the likelihood of publishing their first or even second or third novel is slim. Rather, these books can be great building blocks for a writer to establish their voice and improve their craft. While this is honest advice, it can also be discouraging for new writers, especially those who write with the goal of publication in mind.

Does this mean you shouldn't give all you've got to your first and second and third novels? Absolutely not. Does this mean you shouldn't work and rework your first novels until you feel they are the best they can possibly get? No. Does this even mean you shouldn't HOPE you will be the one to buck the trend and land a multi-book deal off your first novel? No.

My first novel was published by a "real" publishing house. However, I feel I have gained more writerly knowledge by the writing of subsequent works than the publishing of my first book. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change my experience for the world, and having one publishing credit under my belt is a huge confidence booster. However, as I continue to learn and write, I wonder about these questions.

So, when do you STOP revising and sending out that novel and decide that it was one best used as "practice"? Maybe for some it's when they reach a certain number of rejections. For others, it may be if their rejections are only form letters. Others may shelve their novel if they never get a request for a full manuscript.
How do YOU know when to shelve your novel and move on to the next one?

Why don't we chat about non-fiction?

2011-05-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

We writers love to huddle together. Whether it be physically at conferences or technologically by the web, staying connected and informed about each others' trials and triumphs helps us feel a little less... well a little less insane.

But most of the authors I have connected with are working on their journey to publication in the fiction world. So, of course, we rarely talk non-fiction. Today we're going to change that.

I love non-fiction. My descendants could easily comprehend the state of my life if I only kept a journal of what non-fiction I had been reading.

*2002-2003 would include titles like Creating The Perfect Marriage; 101 Ways To Stay Married; Why Marriage Is Still God's Plan.
*My 2003 shelf would be What To Expect When You're Expecting To Expect (haha these are all fake titles by the way); How To Eat Right To Grow That Baby; How What You Do In Week 1 Of Life Could Permanently Ruin Your Baby.
*2003-2005. Every Minute Of Your Day Is Now About Mommyhood; No, You Don't Need A Shower!; and What Music Will Make Your Baby A Genius.
*2005-2007 might include Best Cookies and Cakes; You're Pregnant Again?
*2007 would be How To Discover Yourself Again; and Losing The Baby Weight.
*My 2008 shelf would include Genealogy for Dummies; From Film To Digital Photography.
*2009-2010 What To Do When Life Goes To Heck In A Handbasket; Surviving Miscarriage; Surviving Job Loss; Surviving Other Insanely Crazy Things You Never Imagined Could Happen; but then Becoming A Published Author; Being A New Mom Again; and When Every Conflicting Emotion Occurs In A Twelve Month Period.

See the trend here? Non-fiction books have helped get me through so many times of my life. Of course, I would never downplay the importance of the best non-fiction books: the scriptures. But there have been many other great books along the way that have given me the boost or ideas I needed to break through a hard time.

Some of my favorites have been about raising girls, creative discipline, and improving marriage. I don't see using so-called self-help books as a negative thing. I see it as wanting to do all you can to improve various aspects of your life. Right now I am reading a hefty stack of non-fiction dedicated to improving my writing.
So, do you read non-fiction? What topics do you love? Would your non-fiction journal over the years explain your life's trials and triumphs?

LDS Storymakers Attendees, Come. Share

2011-05-09T05:06:00.000-07:00

So my jealousy bones have been working overtime this past weekend. Many of my blogging friends were attending the LDS Storymakers Conference in Salt Lake City. I wasn't able to go this year.

I know your brains are bursting with writing motivation. So, let's hear what I missed.

Did you attend Storymakers? What was the funnest part of the weekend for you? What was the most inspirational thing you heard? What do you plan to put into practice right away?

Writing a series

2011-05-04T06:53:00.001-07:00

Does it seem to anyone else that there are more and more series (not sure how to pluralize that one) out there lately? Sometimes I wonder can't an author just write a stand-alone book anymore?

I know there are many reasons to do a series: too much story for one book, introducing new elements, and, of course, more money.

I was considering a series for my debut novel Growing Up Gracie. In fact I have a start on book two, Danielle, Never The Bride. These books would each come from a member of the "All-Mormerican Family" the Fremonts. But now I'm not sure it's going to happen.

This is a difficult choice to make. I didn't end Gracie in a cliffhanger by any means. It stands alone. However, many people who have read it continue to ask me when the next book will come out.

A series to me is scary. It lends a spirit of "have to" to the writing that I don't know I can deal with for six books. I'm not saying I'm not going to follow through with this project, I'm just not certain at this point.

Have you written a series? What are the pitfalls of writing a series? What are the joys?

Stuck? Try this

2011-04-28T11:22:00.001-07:00

My critique partner and I have been feeling a little stuck with our writing lately. Words aren't flowing and writing just isn't feeling as fun.

I know this happens to all writers from time to time. So, I searched the web, as well as the cobwebs of my brain, for some ideas on how to get over the hump. Here's what I came up with.

*Interview your characters. Ask them about their favorite pizza toppings. Their most embarrassing moments. Why they hate Aunt Ruth. How many children they plan on having. This might get the creative juices flowing.
*Freewrite. Remember doing this in college? I do. Turn on the timer for 15 minutes or so and put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard). No stopping until the timer beeps. Maybe there's nothing coherent in your ramblings, but maybe something will spark an interest or be the start of a new scene/character in your novel.
*People watch. Take an hour reprieve and head to the mall or park. Bring a notebook. Grab an Orange Julius and sit on a bench. Now just people watch. I'm serious here. Check out the passersby and jot down their stories in your notebook. Is that couple celebrating their fiftieth anniversary? Is that woman dying of breast cancer? Is that man having an affair with the nanny while she is secretly stealing from their retirement account? You get the idea.
*Read. You probably know what genre you want to write in. Or at least, you should. Go pick up a stack of those books from your library. I would love to get lost in family sagas for a week. There's no doubt in my mind that new ideas for my stories would crop up.
*Gather with other writers. Yeah, so maybe I can't afford the cross-country writing conference I would love to attend this week. But that doesn't mean I can't use my connections to other writers to inspire me. Go out to breakfast with a writer friend and have a brainstorming session. Or you could open up a dialogue with a crew of writers online. (And you can bet I'll be blog stalking all of you Storymakers attendees in the upcoming weeks for your tips!)
*Head in new direction. Is there a rule that we must finish one book before starting another? Well, if you're under contract, then yes, there is that rule. But for the rest of us, there's no reason we can't lay something aside if we just aren't feeling it and dive into something new.
*Take a break. If all else fails and writing is still feeling like a total chore, take a break. Go to the park with your kids. Go for a run. Watch a movie. And try again tomorrow.

Now I'm off to follow some of my own suggestions. I'd love to hear yours!

I'm Not The Mother I Was Going To Be

2011-04-26T06:13:00.001-07:00

I was chatting with a group of friends a few weeks back about how we had turned out as mothers when one friend said, "I'm definitely not the mother I was going to be."

It made me think. Who was the mother I was going to be?

One who...
*Always looked beautiful
*Got skinny right away after having babies
*Read to my children everyday
*Had six kids
*Never watched my kids play at the park, always played with them
*Cooked nutritious meals
*Rarely turned on the TV
*Kept my children busy with a steady supply of activities
*Never yelled
*Never spanked

I started out with the best intentions. In fact, I remember when my oldest was 18 months. I said to my husband, "I've gotten this far without ever yelling. I'm sure I can get through the rest."

Wow, was I naive. Seven years (and several hoarse evenings later) I am definitely not the mom I planned to be. Don't get me wrong, I do my best, but I'm still learning.

When my first baby was two weeks old I started taking her to the library in the stroller. I took her to story-time. I took her to puppet shows! Seriously, a two week old baby? Yes. When she turned one I took her to the grocery store so she could "pick out" her own cake mix. I thought she was so BIG. I spent hours and hours with her attached to my little fingers to help her learn to walk. Nearly every milestone was photographed and videoed.

Now I'm on kiddo number four. He's one and I wouldn't have dreamed of having him pick his own cake mix. He's a baby for heaven sakes! He learned to walk just as fast as his sister without me walking him all over the countryside. There isn't a single video of him. Do I love him just as much? Oh my gosh, of course! Have I changed as a mother? Yes.

Then there was the time a woman with four kiddos brought them over for a play date to my house. She said to us mothers that one of her daughters could be such a "naughty brat" sometimes. I was shocked. How dare she think that about one of her own children? If she called her naughty, that would make her naughty! Right? I vowed to never let negative words about my children's behavior leave my lips. If I had kept that promise, and never had vented exactly what my children were being to my husband, I may have exploded by now.

Now, how does this all relate to writing? I guess it doesn't. But, my blog is called Mommy's Always Write, so I feel I reserve the right for today's post to be just about Mommyhood.

The silver lining to this post, though, is this: Even though I'm not the mother I planned to be, I have also found motherhood so much more rewarding than I planned it would be. It is harder. Oh man, it is harder. But the love I feel toward each of these littles is amazing. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

How are you a different mother from who you planned to be?

What are your favorite books about writing?

2011-04-24T20:20:00.000-07:00

My birthday was Friday and hubby got me an awesome gift. An Amazon gift card! Yay!

I would love to spend this money on all those novels out there I've been wanting to get my hands on. However, I will be buying some new books on writing. Boring? Maybe. But it's an investment in my talent.

So, what should I get?

I loved Bird by Bird by Anne Lamont and On Writing by Stephen King (both of which I haven't read since college). I already have Strunk and White. So, are there any other awesome "mastering your craft" books out there on writing that you absolutely loved?

10 Things That Would Make More Financial Sense Than Becoming A Writer

2011-04-22T14:09:00.001-07:00

Just for a Friday laugh...

10. Selling Avon. Hey my grandma has done this for like 50 years! Do they still have "Avon ladies" or is it all online now?
9. Collecting Boxtops. Well, maybe not, but at least it would help my kids' school.
8. Selling things on Craigslist. Like my computer, printer, and all those books, books, books on my shelves.
7. Using my writing time to work at a minimum wage job. (Honestly, the hours would really add up.)
6. Writing anything but books: for newspapers, technical journals, company p.r. stuff.
5. Teaching people about writing. Even a teachers' salary would make most novelists drool.
4. Getting hired by my daughters' lemonade stand. They can earn some hefty cash on a hot day!
3. Returning to my previous hobby. Portrait Photography is much more lucrative.
2. Becoming a babysitter. Do you know what we pay for a night away from four kids?!!
1. Joining a multi-level marketing scheme. In the words of Michael Scott of The Office "It's not a pyramid scheme, it is a... it's not even a scheme per se, it's... [Jim draws a triangle around Michael's diagram] ... I have to go make a call."

Good thing I don't write for the money :)

Every High School Had This Couple

2011-04-20T19:03:00.000-07:00

You know the one I'm talking about. For our sake, we'll call them Lovey and Lovette. This couple was a permanent fixture in every high school.

They met their freshman year. He was a jock. She was a cheerleader (or in my school a partier, because cheerleaders just weren't cool at all). Their whirlwind romance was hot and heavy from the get-go. Before first semester finals, they'd both said "I love you" and were well on their way to true high-school-love bliss.

But wait. Then there was that mid-freshman year fling Lovette had with sophomore Hot Stuff. So, a damaged Lovey dumped the man and was set to move on with her life. Lovette was a smart fellow, though, and he wanted Lovey back. He commandeered the high school PA system to confess his undying love. How could Lovey resist?

The next summer Lovey met Sweetheart Darling on a summer vacation to the beach and dumped Lovette for a few weeks. His never-ending stream of Shakespearean texts won her over, and in no time, Lovey and Lovette were back in each others' arms.

This drama played out for the next four years. He dumps her; they make up. She dumps him; they make up. They opt for a mutual, no-fault break-up; next week she's wearing a promise ring. You get the picture.

And everyone else in the high school was saying this: Oh, give it a rest already!

This on-again/off-again high school romance is annoying for so many reasons. On many levels, we must be thinking, it will never work. If Lovey and Lovette have tried and failed so many times, their relationship just probably wasn't meant to be.

But then, there are a few of these seemingly doomed relationships that appear to get over their trials and mature into happy-ever-after-dom.

***Right now my journalism professors would be beating me over the head because that was the longest intro into my topic ever conceived.*** But, I digress. Stay with me now, there is a point.

Me and my current WIP are in a major high schooley, love-hate, Lovey-Lovette relationship right now. Phew, I got there. See, I told you there was a correlation.

Seriously though, we started out hot and steamy, but then fizzled quick. We gave each other some space. Maybe too much space. We tried to pick back up where we left off, but we both decided the chemistry just wasn't flowing. We went from 20,000 words to 15,000 words to 8,000 words. We split up again, and I considered making our break up permanent. Really, I thought, this relationship (errr, book) just wasn't meant to be. My Lovette begged and pleaded his way back into my word processor though, and now here we are at Take 3. This is the last chance! I swear. I will dump this MS faster than Lovey dumped Lovette if it disappoints me one more time.

Here's to on-again/off-again relationships. Wish me and my WIP luck.

And now on to you. Have you ever had an on-again/off-again relationship with a WIP OR in real life? Did it work out or was it just better to part ways?

You have to read this!

2011-04-19T10:39:00.000-07:00

Wow, if you're a parent of girls... Or if not, but you care about the future of the female race (okay, I've included everybody now, right?) You HAVE TO READ THIS ARTICLE.

Check it out. It's called Parents Don't Dress Your Girls Like Tramps.

I thought it was great, and I'd love to get your feedback on it here. Don't comment there :), chat over at my place! wink. wink.

Pre-reading for our kids' sake

2011-04-18T06:55:00.001-07:00

If you've glanced over at my sidebar from time to time, you've noticed I have a daughter who is quite the reader. Her 2011 goal is to read 250 chapter books, and she just passed number 100.

For the most part, the books she reads are very innocent. They include titles from the Cam Jansen series, Babysitters Club series, and Judy Blume classics. But occasionally she picks up ones from the library I am unsure on.

She's only seven, so I want to make sure the things she reads are appropriate. If I've never heard of a book, I usually do a couple of things:

*Ask her how old the characters in the book are. If they are twelve or under, the content is usually (but not always) pretty clean.
*Flip through the book. The dialogue usually gives me some kind of an idea on the appropriateness of the book.
*Check the book out on Goodreads. I've found almost every book I've looked for on that site, and the reviews usually fill me in on a book's content.
*And if I'm still not sure, go ahead and read it myself.

She recently brought home a book called Stone Horse, which is in the Mustang Mountain Ranch series. She told me the main characters were sixteen and had boyfriends. For me, that sent up a red flag. I informed her I would be reading it first.

What did I find? A really enjoyable read.

The book was free of inappropriate language. It had a few elements that were a little scary, such as wolves hunting wild horses, but I thought she could handle those excerpts. My main concern was the boyfriend/girlfriend issue. There were only two references: one where the boyfriend kissed the girl's forehead and another at the end where they kissed (it spared the reader any details).

By reading it myself, I was able to determine that this book was fine for my daughter. I think it's important to put forth the time and effort to stay informed on the media choices our children make.

I've had friends ban the Captain Underpants series from their homes, and I know a few who don't let their kids read the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. (My daughter avoids boyish things like the plague, so she's never been interested in these books yet).

Have you ever pre-read a book before letting your child read it? If so, what ones have you had to say no to?

Oh-Ver-Whelmed

2011-04-13T19:49:00.000-07:00

Oh-Ver-Whelmed. Or, overwhelmed to those of you who are interested in spelling.

It happens to all of us, that feeling that we're sinking in a pile of to-do's and just can't seem to find our feet.

I know my husband is feeling overwhelmed right now. He's taking his first semester of school since high school (let's just say more than 10 years ago). He has a full course load on top of working 40 hours a week in his job. He usually only has spare moments to dash home for a to-go meal or quick change of clothes.

I am doing okay on the home front. The past several years have been about my "stuff." Me building my photography business; me writing and trying to get published; me and my ever changing list of obsessive hobbies (baking and running were two of them). Now it's time for my focus to be about supporting him in this endeavor. I'm so proud of him. I've scaled back on photography. I've kept my morning writing time the same, but am majorly scaling back a few other "time suckers" that revolve around the writing world.

But, although I'm doing okay right now, there have been many times I've been completely overwhelmed. As women, here are a few of the things we're supposed to be doing on a fairly regular basis: praying, reading scriptures, reading for enjoyment, exercising, flossing, making healthy meals, scrubbing, dishes, laundry, providing learning experiences for our children, keeping up on shots and dental appointments and vision screenings, magnifying our callings, being a good visiting teacher, preserving our memories, attending the temple, serving in PTA, voting, attending church meetings, doing family history, keeping a budget, learning frugality, doing family history work, and, of course, looking good while we do it all! This doesn't even take into consideration some of you amazing women who do all of this while maintaining work outside the home.

Now, if that list doesn't make you wince, I don't know what will. Let me be the first to say, I only accomplish about one percent of the items on that list.

Feeling overwhelmed?

Take a deep breath. Count to ten. Remember you are doing an amazing job.

Here is my question for today: What are the first things to go down the drain when you start to feel overwhelmed?

For me, it's healthy eating and a clean house. What do you let slip?

What ruins a read for you?

2011-04-11T09:01:00.000-07:00

Lately the writing blog world has been frequently focusing on the annoying problems we encounter in our own writing: too many adjectives, using "smiled" too much, and so forth. Today, I'm focusing on a similar topic.

As a reader, what annoys you? What problems do you encounter that pull you from the story and, essentially, ruin the read?

They may be the same things. In fact, I read one LDS novel where all the characters "noted" everything. No one "said" anything, they were too busy noting. And it drove me insane.

But usually, as a reader, my complaints aren't quite so specific to one word or phrase (let's face it, we judge our own writing harsher than other people's). Here are some of the things that bug me or "ruin a read" for me.

*Dialect. Oh, how frustrating to have to wade through long paragraphs of Cajun speak. A reader is forced to dissect each sentence to understand what the characters are trying to say. For me, it's too much work to ask of the everyday reader. My current WIP has several Scottish characters, and I'll admit, at times, I was tempted to do all their dialogue in true Scottish words--I'd researched it for heaven sakes! But in the end, I only utilized a few sentences here and there.

*Foreign names. I hope this doesn't sound prejudice, but if I can't pronounce a foreign name, it becomes very distracting while I read. Last year I read a novel about a Korean family. There were probably 8 characters with traditional Korean names. I absolutely could not keep the characters straight and I finished the book not really knowing who did what. I don't know how to remedy this because many wonderful books include foreign names. Maybe I'm just not the target audience for this type of book.

*Overuse of big words. A book I read early this year had a character with an impressive vocabulary. He would regularly spout long streams of sentences that most readers wouldn't understand at all. Now, this was a great book, but I often found myself skimming over any dialogue from that character. This extensive vocab was paramount to that character's image, so it was essential, but still, it often took me away from the story.

What takes you out of a story? What bothers you or "ruins a read" for you?

Mommy's Always Write

Returning to an old WIP

What was I thinking?

Did the Kindle light your fire?

The Red Solo Cup

A ghetto-fantastic childhood

What's that book you're hiding under?

Looking back at your progress

Ahhh Shoot.

Aaahhhh!

HELP A GIRL OUT!

Your grown up Christmas Wish

What was I thinking?

What's the low down?

Your thoughts on Happiness

Jingle Bells--rejection style

My TBR pile

Five reasons Friday's book signing was awesome

Signing

The writer who wasn't writing

So I was thinking...

Did you know?

The Help

A random thought about conversing (and the odd things I feel I must slip in...)

The Five-Year Plan

Thoughts on Halloween

And the writer was...

What do you think?

The rest of the story

That post with an overabundance of dashes and parenthetical statements

This is what it's all about

All about you

Our little crazies...

Talking about our questions

What you always wanted to ask.

You know there's housework to be done when...

Have you ever

Shut up and write already!

Sometimes the two don't mix

Fall is coming!

Speed in your opening

First Week of School Woes

Wait, wait, wait

Go ahead, give it a shot

Storymakers Advice

To make you laugh

How ROUGH is your rough?

Join the Writer's Platform Campaign!

Writing the Breakout Novel

Winner and MONDAY Random-ness

Drumroll, please

Articles I like from WriteOnCon today

Oooh, the rumble

The speed of things

Beware of the Boat Launch Elitist

Happiness is...

How do you say it in your neck of the woods?

August 1 Check In

That post where I compare Mommyhood with Writer-hood (oh wait, that's every post)

A Poll for my LDS readers

What WASN'T on your list today?

What's in your in-box?

Dear Ann M. Martin

Paper Submissions

Time Ticking Away From Me

You MUST read this!

Wait a minute, agents make mistakes too?

Adding reading to your writing goals

A little bit of my WIP

July Goal Check In

The Queerness of Querying

Mommy Milestones That Are Making Me Happy

Jumping In

And this too...

Weird Wednesday

One Hundred Years of Solitude

UPDATE*UPDATE*UPDATE

Brain. Becoming. Jello.

Quick Question Tuesday

A Plug

UPDATEUPDATEUPDATE